Proper Visitor Protocol
by penny1200
Summary: Penny is dating Leonard. Sheldon is dating Amy. So why does it seem like they spend all of their time with each other? And should they enjoy it, even the fighting, as much as they do?
1. Prologue: The Wedding Infiltration

Spoilers: Anything up to and including the season five finale.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

A/N: Despite my time spent in other fandoms, this is my first foray into TBBT fanfiction. Hopefully I can do the Shenny relationship justice. Most of this will be from Penny's third-person POV, although I may occasionally take a look at things from Sheldon's view if it seems suitable. The romance aspect to this story will definitely be slow-moving (despite this chapter occurring after the events of the main portion of the story), so keep that in mind. I also intend to start and end each chapter with a few appropriate song lyrics for the events of the chapter. I will only include short excerpts from the song and the lyrics at the end of the chapter may not directly follow the lyrics at the start. Despite the lyrics, this is not a songfic as lyrics will not appear during the body of the chapter. This chapter's lyrics are from 'Speak Now' by Taylor Swift. Please read and review! Thanks!

Prologue: The Wedding Infiltration

_I am not the kind of girl  
Who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion  
But you are not the kind of boy  
Who should be marrying the wrong girl_

_How had she gotten here again? _Penny wondered as she slipped through the large oak doors into the main room of the church. She definitely wasn't supposed to be here; she hadn't even received an official invitation. Yet here she was, sliding into a pew toward the back with the hope that she wouldn't be spotted.

She wasn't sure why she had come or what she was planning to do. _Ugh_. That thought had her burying her face in her hand, her long blonde hair forming a curtain around her. She wasn't going to _do _anything, she mentally chastised herself. She had already had this mental argument with herself on the plane earlier. Of course, she had also tried to fight the urge to buy the ticket last night and to get on the plane this morning, and she had lost those battles. She just needed to see for herself. If he was happy, she would sneak out before the vows were exchanged and they were announced man and wife.

Because she had to be wrong about the meaning of the e-mail that he had sent her yesterday.

Lifting her head, she brushed her waves back over her shoulders and scanned the room. The faces around her were so familiar and yet strangely foreign. She knew that she would no longer feel completely comfortable moving to the second pew on this side and sitting down with Howard (Bernadette was matron of honor) as if nothing had changed. It was completely probable that he would welcome her; it wasn't as if she had left on bad terms. Still. Six months. It had been six months since she had left Pasadena, and she only kept in regular contact with two people - Bernadette and Sheldon Lee Cooper. The groom.

As her eyes slid over the crucifix hanging at the front of the room, Penny suppressed a snort. She still couldn't believe that they had chosen to get married in a church. Actually, the choice had his mom written all over it. This must be killing him. She knew that it wasn't his taste at all. In fact, he was probably in one of the back rooms having a total fit over the religious vibes that a church wedding sent out. Placing her fingers over her lips, she muffled a snicker. If he had his choice, he'd probably get married in his office or just go down to the courthouse and do the whole justice of the peace thing.

Amusement dying, Penny dropped her head onto the back of the pew and stared at the ceiling. She wouldn't have minded either of those scenarios, not if he was the one with her. Which was funny because she had always pictured a big fairytale wedding when she had thought about it in the past. She wasn't sure when her opinion had changed. Maybe it was when Howard and Bernadette had their tiny wedding on the rooftop. Perhaps it was when the man in question had held her when she cried despite his discomfort with the action. Or maybe it was a decision that she came to after so many hours spent together while she waited for her boyfriend to pay attention to her. Whichever it was, she just knew that the wedding itself wouldn't matter so much if he was the one she was slipping a ring onto. Yet here she was - preparing to watch him marry someone else.

Why had she come here? Why would she torture herself like this? As he would say: it simply wasn't logical.

Silence settled over the room as the chatter died out. The sudden lack of noise pulled Penny's attention away from her misery and she raised her head back up. Staring forward, she saw that the male half of the wedding party had filed out of the back room. She scoped out the groom. He was standing next to Leonard and Raj. She drew in a sharp breath at the sight of him in a traditional black tux. He was gorgeous, but she knew from past experience that he would think he looked ridiculous. One corner of her mouth quirked up. He always thought that when he dressed in clothes that most people found appealing but she blamed that on his strange idea that fashion was completely determined the brightness of the colors.

As she took in his posture, she nibbled her lip. He was standing stiffly, even more so than usual. His hands were clasped behind his back in what she instantly recognized as an anxious gesture. He looked every bit the role of a nervous groom except that his gaze wasn't focused on the doors at the back of the church through which his blushing bride would enter. Instead, he was scanning the faces in the crowd with a frantic expression that she was all too familiar with. The difference was that he normally wore that look when he was stuck on some complicated physics problem that wasn't working out like he thought it should and that she didn't understand in the slightest.

When she realized that his eyes were close to landing on her, Penny ducked down so that she was hidden behind the pew in front of her. She didn't want him to know that she was here. Not that she thought that he was looking for her, but she just didn't want to interfere. And she knew him well enough to know that he would insist she change her seat so that she was sitting with at least his valued acquaintance (poor, poor Howard). She really didn't need a closer seat. From her current seat, it would be easy for her to slip out undetected once the nuptials were well underway.

Penny peaked over the edge of the pew in time to watch him end his glance around the room. Straightening back up, she saw the way his upper body turned away from the crowd. His suit fit so well that she could easily tell that his shoulders had slumped slightly, as if he hadn't found whoever it was he was looking for. He was clearly upset and every fiber of her being was screaming for her to go to him and smooth her hands across his strong back. But if she went up there, she'd probably just make a fool of herself and ask him to sing her 'Soft Kitty.'

Because sad and heartbroken was a kind of sick.

When the soft music that had filled the room as the guests waited changed, Penny turned to look at the door. She watched as first Missy and then Bernadette filed through the doors. Her eyes focused on her friend. She shook her head at the sight of the clearly curved belly that the blonde was carrying around. She had never thought that Bernadette would come around to the idea of children, and the other woman had explained that the only reason she had opened up to the idea was because Howard was the dad and she knew that she could count on him to be there for her through it all. The thought of Howard Wolowitz reproducing still terrified Penny to the point that she was watching for the other signs of the Apocalypse, but she had to admit that he adored Bernadette and had been a lot less skeezy since they had gotten married. The two of them together were actually kind of, dare she say it, _sweet_.

Penny never thought the day would come that she was jealous of Bernadette Wolowitz, but she really did want what she and Howard had. The problem was that she wanted it with the man who was saying 'I do' to another woman today.

Speaking of...the traditional bridal march started up, and Penny scrunched her face in distaste. She had never understood how something so harsh and blaring had become the standard for the last walk of a single woman. She had always thought that the steps up the aisle should be accompanied with something peaceful and joyous since they were the first steps into marriage. It seemed like it would only be good luck to start the whole marriage process with the right mood, and to her that didn't include the usual wedding march.

Penny didn't stand with the rest of the guests for fear that the groom would see her and stall the wedding to make her switch into what he deemed a proper seat. She was in the last pew and she didn't have anyone with her so she was sure that the small sign of disrespect (although she didn't actually mean any disrespect by it) would go unnoticed.

The bride was beautiful. Her dress was princess-pretty, and her brown hair was curled and pinned enticingly, topped with that damn tiara that Sheldon had bought her despite Penny's more practical suggestions. Amy had traded in her glasses for contacts for the day and she was walking down the aisle on her mother's arm since her father had died when she was still a kid. As she passed, Penny could see that Amy's eyes were glued to the front of the room, probably on the surprisingly dashing groom waiting for her at the end of the aisle.

Facing forward once again, Penny couldn't help but find her eyes drawn to him yet again. She expected to find him staring at Amy, as enchanted by her as everyone else in the room was. She was shocked to see that he was yet again frantically searching the crowd, a tic going in his left eyebrow. When he still didn't find what he was looking for, his eyes focused over the shoulder of the approaching bride on the oak doors that she had come through. Studying him, Penny could practically see the gears turning in that big ol' brain of his. When his leg twitched unconsciously forward, it suddenly hit her what he was thinking.

_Holy crap on a cracker! _He was thinking about running out!

As the pastor began to speak, Penny tuned him out, her mind racing with this new realization. Sheldon didn't want to get married today. She had translated his long e-mail with its complicated vocabulary correctly. But just as she knew that he wanted to escape, she also knew that he wouldn't. Not without a push in the right direction. His mama had raised him to be too much of a gentleman to leave someone at the altar.

Penny wiped her sweaty palms on the skirt of her short green dress. Could she do it? Could she give him the push that he had obviously been pleading for in his e-mail?

She didn't want to be that girl. She had never wanted to be that girl - the one who breaks up a marriage. But they weren't married yet and wouldn't it be worse to let him go through with this wedding when she knew he didn't actually want it? When he was obviously considering leaving? When she was pretty sure that he felt the same way about her that she did him? Wouldn't letting him marry Amy do a great disservice to everyone involved? Her, him, and, most especially, Amy? Heaven knew that the brunette deserved to marry someone who wasn't spending their wedding thinking about leaving her.

'_I feel a distinct obligation to follow through on my promise to Amy as I do not wish to see her discontented. However, I ponder that my own feelings are not as jovial as they should be as I approach my nuptials. I don't reject the reality that our affair of the mind is quite agreeable, yet I find that Amy's mental stimulation is incomparable to the physical, social, and emotional stimulus that unnecessarily complicated my life in your presence. I find that I am at a loss on how to proceed and require your assistance in determining my future course of action before I proceed down an irreversible path_.'

The words of the e-mail floated through her head and she felt a bundle of nerves tangle in her stomach. She knew what she needed to do - what he needed her to do (unless she had read it wrong). But was she brave enough to do it? Sure, she was a big ol' five when it came to sex, but could she be a big ol' five when it came to her heart? Sex was easy; it could be just for fun and it didn't have to mean anything. However, if she interrupted this wedding and asked Sheldon not to marry Amy, it would mean something. It was a huge risk because she would either get the man that she had slowly fallen in love with while she was dating his roommate or she would walk away with a shattered heart that would probably never recover. If she had translated his e-mail the wrong way, this could only end with the broken heart. But if she had deciphered it correctly...

"...speak now, or forever hold your peace."

The pastor's words filtered through her panic. She hadn't realized the ceremony had reached that point. This was the last chance for objections and if nobody said anything, the vows would come next, followed by the kiss, and the official pronouncement of the happy couple as man and wife. An anxious tingle crawled up her spine and as if her body was separate from her mind, she felt herself standing up.

A roomful of eyes turned to focus on her, including one beloved pair of piercing blue.

_I hear the preacher say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace"  
There's the silence, there's my last chance.  
I stand up with shaky hands, all eyes on me._

A/N 2: That's it for the prologue, which as you can probably all tell is set in the future compared to the rest of the story. Next chapter will begin the tale of how the events of this chapter came to be. For anyone who's read any of my other stuff and is used to my sex scenes, I hope you're not too disappointed to learn that this story will stay firmly in PG-13/T-rated territory. I hope to see you guys back for the next chapter, and let me know what you thought of this one!


	2. Chapter 1: Disturbed Routines

Spoilers: Anything up to and including the season five finale.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

A/N: Thank you so much for the wonderful response to the first chapter! In case you missed the author's note at the end of the last chapter, this chapter will go back to begin telling the story of how Sheldon and Penny wound up in their respective positions in the prologue. The church scene will be revisited at the end of the story, though, so don't worry. Just think of it as a story-long cliffhanger. This chapter's lyrics are from 'Insomnia' by Megadeth. I would like to thank my reviewers: maipigen, Convict13, emaly, SunnyCitrus10, MrsFlanigan, Jislane, Anon13, Guest, BreathlessFaith, MixItUp, and minafinnes. Your encouragement was wonderful because it's always terrifying to venture into a new fandom. Please read and review! Thanks!

7/27/12 A/N: There's nothing new in this chapter. I just went through and cleaned up a couple of spelling errors and an inconsistency. Everything else is still the same, so there's no need to reread if you've already read the original version of this chapter.

Chapter One: Disturbed Routines

_Insomnia, my swollen bloodshot eyes  
Insomnia, awake till morning light_

_A year and a half before the wedding_

"Oh, what fresh hell is this?"

The sound of her boyfriend's cantankerous roommate had Penny pulling her head out of the refrigerator to stare at him. He was wearing his plaid Thursday pajamas and carrying his laptop. He looked highly upset to find that Penny had invaded their kitchen.

"Hi, Sheldon!" Penny greeted perkily, thrusting her head back into the fridge.

She could have sworn that she had seen some whipped cream in here. She wanted a sundae and she had ice cream, chocolate sauce, and even a banana she was pretty sure hadn't gone bad yet at her apartment. If she could just find the whipped cream, she'd run across and get the other supplies.

"You need to wear pants in the kitchen."

_Aha! _Penny spotted the spray can of whipped cream behind the milk. Shoving the half-gallon to the side, she snagged her target and stood up, shutting the door with her hip as she faced Sheldon. He was watching her, an annoyed expression on his twitching face. Oh, right, he had said something.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. What did you say?" she asked, setting the whipped cream on the island.

"You have to wear pants in the kitchen," he restated, his voice stern.

Penny looked down. She was wearing Leonard's shirt and her panties, but that was it. She simply hadn't seen the point in getting fully dressed just to make herself a sundae. Plus, it was the middle of the night. Sheldon was supposed to be asleep right now; his routine dictated it. Tugging at the bottom of the short shirt, she wondered if she should be embarrassed. If it were anyone else, she would be because she would know that they were trying to undress her the rest of the way with their eyes. But this was Sheldon. She knew that she didn't have to worry about him checking her out.

"Why?" she questioned brightly, crossing the living room to the front door.

"It's a matter of cleanliness. You should always be fully dressed when entering a food preparation area," he explained, following her into the hallway.

Penny glanced over her shoulder as she unlocked her door.

"It's no shirt, no shoes, no service, Sheldon. It doesn't say anything about pants," she pointed out, biting back a grin when he let out a frustrated huff.

"Penny," he whined. "That's because it is simply common sense to wear pants in restaurants. And, as you know, I hold you to even higher standards than what public establishments follow."

Gathering the ingredients for her snack, Penny rolled her eyes. Luckily with the movement, she spotted an unopened jar of maraschino cherries. Score! She grabbed them.

"Yes, Sheldon. I'm well aware that you have extremely high standards. I deal with them every freaking Tuesday," she muttered under her breath, carrying her armful of items past him and back out of her apartment.

"Then even you should be courteous enough to put on your pants before entering my kitchen," he insisted stubbornly as he closed her door and followed her back across the hallway to the boys' apartment.

Frowning at his tone, she dropped her load on the island and spun around to glare at him.

"What do you mean 'even me'?" she asked, pointing her finger at him.

He stared at her, barely restrained annoyance on his face.

"I mean that you appear to lack a basic understanding of visitor courtesy. You freeload our wi-fi, steal our food on a regular basis, and I know you sit in my spot the rare times when I'm not here," he accused.

She felt her cheeks heat up at the sound of the final charge. While all of those things were true, it was the last one that embarrassed her because she had been sure that he didn't know about that. It wasn't that his spot was any better than any other in the room, despite his insistence otherwise. It was more in the fact that it was forbidden and that made it all the more appealing to her. Penny had always had a thing for breaking the rules, so she got some sort of strange thrill from sitting in his spot. Still, she wasn't about to give into him the way that everyone else always did. She straightened to her full height.

"Leonard gave me permission to use both the internet and the food," she defended. "And it's not like you're using your spot when you're not here."

His mouth worked for a minute, giving her the impression of a fish out of water, and she fought back a snicker. The only thing that stopped her was the worry that he was about to give himself a stroke in his rage.

"Sheldon?" she asked, stepping forward cautiously when his brow started twitching frantically.

Had she broken him?

"You...you _sit in my spot? _You confessed! That's a strike," he finally bit out angrily.

Feeling distinctly as if she had been manipulated into that particular confession, Penny turned back around and waved her hand over her shoulder at him.

"Like I really care, Sheldon," she said, moving around the counter to pull a bowl out of the cabinet.

Ignoring his frozen body, Penny set about putting together her sundae. She was actually pretty excited; it had been a while since she had one. Scooping ice cream on top of the banana, she tilted her head in thought. Maybe it wasn't so much a sundae as it was a banana split. Either way, it would be very tasty.

"So why are you up tonight?" she asked Sheldon. "Are you stuck again?"

"Penny, I just issued you a second strike. You really should take this seriously."

She glanced up to see the serious expression on his face. Grinning at him, she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon, but I simply can't take your strike system seriously."

"Why not?"

His voice was petulant and reminded her of a preschooler who had been denied his way.

Abandoning her ice cream, she walked toward him and, reaching up, patted his cheek softly a couple of times. He flinched back automatically, but she was so used to that, she barely even noticed.

"Because you love me, moonpie. You don't want to ban me from the apartment. You would miss me far too much," she stated confidently before circling back around the island and continuing her work.

"Only Meemaw can call me that," he said sullenly. "And I will too ban you until you take my class after you get your third strike."

"So, Sheldon?" she interrupted in an attempt to get his thoughts off of strikes and back to the original question.

He blinked at her, a scowl on his lips at having been cut off.

"So what?" he asked.

She grinned. "Don't tell me that you forgot my question. Aw! Did your big, bad photographic memory fail? Did you actually forget something?"

As Penny watched his face turn red, she wondered briefly if she could go to hell for, as Leonard put it, playing with the Sheldon. She knew that she probably shouldn't consciously antagonize him as much as she did. However, it was like the whole sitting in his spot thing - too damn much fun not to.

"Of course I didn't forget," he finally sputtered. "I simply don't see where your question has any merit. It's my apartment so I can be awake whenever I want."

Penny rolled her eyes at him, making sure he saw her reaction this time.

"I know that. But you're the one who always insists that you have to be in bed at a certain time each night or you don't function as well the next day," she pointed out dryly, pulling a second bowl out of the cabinet. She quickly added, "Plus, the last time you got stuck, you terrorized everyone, including innocent bystanders, until you figured out the answer."

She drizzled chocolate sauce over both bowls of ice cream, only glancing up once she had recapped the bottle. He was watching her actions carefully.

"Well, Sheldon?" she verbally nudged him. "What's with the not sleeping?"

"I am not stuck," he finally declared, lifting his gaze from the ice cream to glare at her. "I can assure you that I have my work well in hand. In fact, I've recently made some interesting discoveries regarding monopoles. My newest theory states..."

"So if it's not your work, then what is it?" Penny interrupted.

She needed to cut him off before he built up a full head of steam explaining his work and left her feeling like the dumbest person ever as he so often did. She was dropping cherries on top of the sundaes with a pair of tongs when he finally answered.

"I don't know."

His voice was so abnormally quiet that Penny paused in her actions to focus on his face. His disgruntled expression - a result of those three hated words - would have been laughable if she didn't suddenly notice the dark shadows under his normally bright eyes. The realization that he was exhausted and the guilt that she hadn't noticed before killed any amusement she might have felt. Instead of teasing him about not knowing something for once, Penny dropped the second cherry into place and held the bowl out to him. He eyed it warily.

"Take it," she prompted after about thirty seconds.

"Really, Penny?" he questioned, his tone broadcasting his disbelief. "I have no desire to see Leonard post-coitus. Can't you take it to him yourself? Not that I would advise that given his severe lactose intolerance, but you are the one sleeping with him so that's your decision."

Penny let out an exasperated sigh. "No, sweetie. This one's for you."

He stared at it for a moment before meeting her eyes.

"Why?"

Bewildered, she responded, "Because I made it for you."

"Clearly," he stated blankly. "But why did you make it for me?"

Penny was extremely confused by his line of questioning but replied honestly anyway.

"Because I wanted to."

He frowned. "But why? I didn't ask you to make it so your actions don't make logical sense."

"We're friends, sweetie." A disturbing thought crossed her mind. "Hasn't anyone ever done something nice for you without a reason before?"

He thought about it for a moment before answering, "My meemaw."

"No one else?"

"No," he replied with a firm shake of his head.

Penny's heart broke a little bit with that one word. She couldn't believe that no one but his meemaw had ever thought to do something nice for him. Surely Leonard, Raj, or Howard had provided some sort of thoughtful gesture in the past. Even as the thought flitted through her head, she knew it was wrong. They simply saw Sheldon as a giant pain in the ass. They weren't wrong, but that also didn't mean he deserved to be treated as if that was all he was. He definitely didn't deserve the way that they always abandoned him when he was sick or the prank they had pulled in the Arctic. Maybe Penny didn't really understand his research, but even she knew that what the guys had done to him was really low.

Well, then. She would simply have to make the effort to introduce Dr. Whack-a-doodle to the normal social protocols of human friendships.

"You can add me to the list with Meemaw," she declared, thrusting the bowl into his hands before picking up her own.

He grimaced. "I can't eat this. It's far too late for sugar."

Dipping her spoon into her ice cream, Penny licked it off before smiling at him.

"It's never too late for sugar, sweetie. And, hey! Maybe you'll eat the sundae and experience a sugar high and then a crash right into sleep," she pointed out chirpily, carrying her bowl over to the couch and plopping into her normal spot next to his spot.

"Thursday is not ice cream night," he announced, still standing next to the kitchen island.

"No night is ice cream night. Ooh!" she bounced slightly in her seat. "You should totally add one to your schedule."

"Penny..."

His voice was edged with irritation and it killed Penny's enthusiasm. Poking her spoon into her ice cream sulkily, she muttered, "I know, I know. Ice cream is pointless. You could at least eat it just this once since I went to the trouble of making it for you."

"Did you touch the ice cream?" he asked.

"Oh, for God's sake, Sheldon. You watched me make it!"

She saw him hesitate for a moment more, his mother-taught manners warring with his self-imposed restrictions, before letting out a resigned sigh and crossing the room to his spot. After he had sat down, he flipped on the TV and started scanning through the channels. Penny devoured her ice cream while she waited for him to settle on something. Sheldon finally stopped the TV on a familiar Star Trek episode when she was scooping up an ice cream covered segment of banana. Glancing over, she watched as Sheldon took a considerably more reasonably-sized bite than her own.

An odd sense of pride filled her at the sight of him breaking his routine.

Two hours later, he shook her awake in aggravation and sent her to Leonard's room because she had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

ooooo

When Penny dragged herself into the boys' apartment late the following night, she was completely exhausted. Since it was Friday night, the Cheesecake Factory had been very busy. She had dealt with a handful of rude customers, including a group of frat boys who seemed incapable of keeping their hands off her. She had been pinched on the ass so many times that she was probably bruised. All she wanted was to crawl into Leonard's arms and have him hold her until she started feeling better. She didn't even want sex tonight.

She was less than thrilled to find the living room dark aside from a single lamp. Sheldon was scribbling on his whiteboard, and Leonard was nowhere to be seen.

"Sweetie? Is Leonard here?" she asked, shutting the door behind her.

Sheldon stopped writing momentarily to glance at her.

"He has already retired to his bedroom. He claimed to have had a stressful day at work. Although how he could experience stress when he is merely copying what others have already done falls beyond my range of comprehension," he answered, turning back to his work.

She headed down the hallway and peeked into Leonard's room. He was already asleep, and she didn't want to wake him up simply because she wanted comfort. Sighing, she backed out, closing the door behind her and returned to the living room.

Penny stopped next to the whiteboard and watched Sheldon's frantic movements for a moment. With the mass array of complicated equations filling the whiteboard, he certainly didn't seem to be stuck, but Penny found it odd that he was still awake when it was well past his usual bedtime.

"Hey, Sheldon? Are you still having trouble sleeping?"

Although he didn't turn to face her, she heard him sigh before responding, "Yes, I find that sleep continues to elude me. However, I am taking advantage of the inconvenience to pay additional focus to my work."

"Hmm."

Crossing behind him, she settled onto the middle cushion of the couch and leaned forward to grab the remote. Turning on the set, she pulled up the guide and scanned through it for something to watch. When she spotted a rerun of Jersey Shore on MTV, she clicked it. Maybe watching other people make some really bad decisions for a while would make her feel better about her own life.

She had been focused on the show for several minutes when she had the creepy feeling that she was being watched. Pulling her eyes off the screen, she turned her head to find Sheldon glaring at her from his whiteboard. His eyebrow was twitching in a way that let her know he was annoyed.

"Stop looking at me. It's creepy," she finally commanded.

"I can't believe that I am about to encourage this, but I would prefer it if you would engage in coitus with Leonard now instead of remaining here watching that dreadful show," he stated, tapping his capped marker on his hand.

She made a face. That was just such an awkward thing to say.

"Well, I don't want to have sex right now. And even if I did want to, Leonard's already asleep."

He tilted his head to the side and studied her as if she was an interesting problem.

"You don't want coitus?" he asked, confusion evident in his tone. "Are you sick? If you are, you have to leave right now so as not to infect me."

Penny dropped her head into her hand.

"God, Sheldon. I'm not sick. I just had a really awful night at work. I don't know why everyone thinks that just because I'm a waitress, they can grope me," she muttered so quietly that she doubted he could hear her.

"Members of the service industry are generally looked down upon as lesser human beings," he explained sagely.

Oh, right. Sheldon had Vulcan hearing. And an attitude that anyone in a service position was beneath him.

"That doesn't give them the right to grab my ass," Penny defended, raising her head to glare at him. "Service job or not, I'm still just as much of a human being as anyone else. I don't deserve that."

"There, there," he said absently, adjusting something in his equations. "But until you develop the discipline to follow through on your acting or some other career, you will be subject to the boorish behavior of your customers."

"Thanks, Sheldon. That's real comforting," she mumbled, slumping back in her spot and pulling her tank top back down from where it rode up over her stomach.

"Sarcasm?" he questioned, pausing to look at her.

"Yeah," she agreed.

"Oh, good. I'm thirty for thirty-five this month; my average has greatly improved."

Okay, Penny was in a pissy mood from both work and Sheldon's attitude that her unhappiness was her own fault. She shouldn't have smiled over his obvious pleasure in mostly successfully identifying sarcasm that month. But damned if she didn't grin just a little as he turned back to his equations.

The only sounds in the room for the next five minutes were those of the TV and the squeaking of his marker on the whiteboard. Penny was just finally starting to relax when Sheldon spoke. The sound of his voice instantly tightened her nerves as she anticipated his next complaint.

"Are you certain that you aren't interested in coitus tonight?" he asked, once again tapping the marker impatiently in his palm. "I'm sure that Leonard would wake up for that."

Raising an eyebrow, Penny questioned, "Why so much interest in getting me laid tonight, moonpie?"

"Only Meemaw can call me that," he responded automatically before answering the actual question. "Your intrusive presence is disturbing my thought process."

She furrowed her brow. "So...I'm breaking your concentration?"

"Precisely. Now leave," he directed.

"No can do, sweetie. I'm not sleepy yet," she announced perkily.

It always took her a couple of hours to unwind after a night shift, especially if it had been particularly stressful. The best way to do that was mindless TV, and since her own cable had gotten shut off last week that meant she needed to use the guys' TV. Not that they needed to know that.

"Did you fail to pay your cable bill again?"

She groaned. How was he always able to pinpoint the problem so easily?

"Yep," she responded cheerily. "So I have to use yours for now."

Facing the board yet again, he said, "I hope the shoes were worth it."

Penny's heart hurt just a little at the automatic assumption that she couldn't pay her cable because she had spent the money on shoes. Sure, she had done just that a couple of times in the past, but that wasn't the case this time. She had sent the month's cable payment to her sister instead. Her deadbeat husband had broken her wrist and since they didn't have insurance, Penny had sent the money to help pay for the hospital bill when Jenny asked. She had also spent two hours on the phone with her trying to convince her to leave the bastard before he did worse than a broken bone, but it was pointless. Jenny and Johnny had the sort of scary relationship that would probably only end when either one or both of them were dead.

It was the sort of relationship she would have had with Kurt if she hadn't been brave enough to leave him when she did.

She couldn't tell Sheldon that was where her money had gone though. She wasn't sure that he would understand why she continued to help the family that she had tried so hard to escape. Plus, he would certainly tell Leonard and he would just go into mushy, supportive boyfriend mode. While she liked that he was there for her when she needed him, she always felt smothered when he was trying to help. There was something about the way that he approached her that left her feeling like he thought she was incapable of taking care of herself. Mostly, though, her sister's situation was a private family matter and there wasn't anything that either of the boys could do to help.

"Yeah. They were," she quietly replied instead before changing the subject. "You know, I think I've figured out why you can't sleep. It's because you never give that big ol' brain of yours a rest. And now it's been on overdrive trying to solve the mysteries of the universe for so long that it can't even shut down long enough for you to sleep."

"Impossible," he dismissed instantly. "Physiology doesn't work that way."

She wasn't surprised that he rejected her idea immediately since he thought that she was an idiot, but Penny was pretty sure that she was onto something. She had lost some sleep herself after she found out about Jenny's broken wrist. She was worried about her sister and couldn't stop picturing all kinds of scary scenarios that ended in Jenny's death, or worse, in her teenage nephew Scott's death. She was only finally able to sleep once she blanked her mind courtesy of mindless TV. Like Jersey Shore, the show that she was currently watching.

If there was anything to her idea, then she needed to at least try it out. Sure, Sheldon seemed to be doing fine now. But she had seen him go without sleep before and she knew how quickly he would descend into insanity unlike anything they saw in him on a normal day. Plus, she was fairly sure that his work really would benefit if he got back to his normal sleep schedule. He seemed to think that was important, and he was smart enough that she didn't doubt him on it.

"I propose an experiment," she finally announced, capturing his attention.

"Interesting," he murmured. "Explain."

She bit back a grin. Yep. Engage his scientific interest and he was easy to manipulate.

"In my experiment, you will sit down right here in your spot and watch some mindless TV with me. I believe that disengaging your brain from science for once will lead you to sleep. The experiment is a success if my theory is right."

She was pretty proud of herself for phrasing her idea as a scientific experiment. She was also fairly sure that she had even used the word theory right. Surely he couldn't ignore her now that she was speaking his language. And if he did, well, she'd just go Junior Rodeo on his ass and hogtie him so that he was forced to watch TV with her.

She could tell that he was considering her words. It took him a few minutes but he finally spoke.

"I agree to that experiment, but I have a restriction to add. I won't watch any of the reality TV drivel that you prefer. It is neither realistic nor good TV."

Penny shrugged. "That's fine by me. I'm sure I can find a comedy or something since science fiction isn't allowed under the outline of the experiment as I presented it. The idea is to stop thinking about science."

He frowned for a moment but then nodded. "That's acceptable. But this experiment has a tiny chance of success."

"Whatever, sweetie. Put down the marker and come here," she instructed, patting his cushion.

Placing the marker in the metal cradle at the bottom of the whiteboard, Sheldon trudged toward her as if she had just told him to play nice with Leslie Winkle. Once he had settled gingerly into his spot, he instructed her to change the channel. Pulling up the guide, Penny scanned for a simple sitcom or funny movie that would keep his attention from wandering to science without encouraging heavy thought. When she saw that Scrubs was playing on one of the channels, she flipped over to it. The humor was intelligent enough in it that she figured Sheldon could watch it without complaining too much.

Penny was so into the episode that she didn't pay any attention to her friend until the credits rolled at the end as another episode started. Glancing over, she grinned. Sheldon had fallen asleep right there in his spot. He had turned slightly so that his body was facing her, his head braced on the back of the couch. His chest was moving as he took in deep, even breaths, and his mouth was hanging open ever so slightly. Calling the experiment a success, Penny turned back to the TV.

She wasn't sure when she fell asleep, but sometime later, she woke up confused. The TV was still on, but there was an infomercial playing now. As she became more alert, she realized something else. At some point, she had shifted so that she was laying with her head on Sheldon's chest. She had one arm thrown over his stomach and the other was stuck between his back and the couch as if she was trying to hug him. That was eerie enough, but even odder was the fact that in his sleep, he had curled his arm around her back and across her waist so that his hand was splayed on her stomach. His hold on her was surprisingly firm.

Squirming out from under his arm, Penny stood in front of the couch and stared down at him. She decided in that moment that she liked sleeping Sheldon the best. With his eyes closed and his hair tousled, he was just any other man. None of his usual insanity or arrogance showed on his face. Biting her lip, she crossed the apartment to his bedroom. She was sure she'd get in a little trouble for what she was about to do, but she didn't exactly care about strikes.

Yanking the comforter off his bed and tucking his pillow under her arm, Penny dragged them into the living room. Dropping the blanket on the floor and the pillow on the chair, she set about removing Sheldon's shoes and rearranging him on the couch so that he was in a position that hopefully wouldn't leave him with a pained neck or back tomorrow. When he didn't wake up even once, she knew that he was completely out of it. He must have been really tired, and she again found herself wondering how long it had been since the last time he got any sleep. Once he was in a better position, Penny spread the comforter over him and lifted his head enough to stuff his pillow under him. Pleased with her work and breathing heavily from the exertions of moving such a large man around, she took one more moment to take in the rare sight of a quiet, sleeping Sheldon before heading for the front door.

As she unlocked her own apartment moments later, Penny frowned. She really hoped he didn't overreact to the fact that she was in his room.

_Insomnia, stirring deep inside  
Insomnia, somebody turn out the lights  
I can't sleep - insomnia_

A/N 2: I work in retail, and for those of you lucky enough to have never worked in the service industry, I can tell you from experience that most people really do have the attitude that people in those positions are dirt. Additionally, I can't tell you the number of times that someone has touched me inappropriately while I was on the job simply because of my position. So, yeah, Penny's rough night, sexual harassment included, isn't too unusual for someone in a service job, at least in my experience.


	3. Chapter 2: Unrest

Spoilers: Anything up to and including the season five finale.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait between my last update and this one. I visited my family and had a rough week at work where I just wanted to play Sims 3 when I got home instead of adding the stress of writing on top of the stress of work. Plus, I decided that it was too early for the events that I initially had planned for this chapter, so I had to rearrange the chapter completely. This chapter's lyrics are from 'Concrete Angel' by Martina McBride. I would like to thank my reviewers: Phosphorescent, Anon13, emaly, MixItUp, LadyLecter47, stock2007, Lucy36, LANIKI, Guest, Maggie1903, and Anon. I love hearing from my readers; it gives me motivation to continue with the story. Please read and review! Thanks!

Chapter Two: Unrest

_It's hard to see the pain behind the mask  
Bearing the burden of a secret storm_

Two weeks later, Penny found herself lying next to Leonard in his bed. They had just had sex, and, unlike him, Penny wasn't able to sleep. She glanced over at his peaceful form before rolling onto her side so that she couldn't see him.

The truth was Penny felt guilty. She used to fall into just as deep a sleep as him every time. The aftereffects of sex were relaxing, especially with Leonard. She had known that she could trust him, and he had quickly become a pro at foreplay even if the main event seemed to be lacking something just as it had with every other guy she had ever slept with.

Now, though, Penny didn't enjoy sex with him like she used to. Not to misunderstand, it was still a lot of fun. After all, she didn't become a big ol' five without really liking sex. She just couldn't let herself go like she used to. She spent the entire time tense and trying to force herself into the moment. Even worse, she knew exactly when and why the change had occurred.

It was that damn proposal.

Penny now lived in fear of Leonard getting too into the moment and proposing again. She spent sex braced for the point when he finished and asked her for a more serious commitment. That tension had diminished her pleasure somewhat even though Leonard was still every bit as skilled as he always had been.

Sighing, she stared at the door. She felt like she was going insane. She really looked forward to sex with him, but then once it got started, her nerves took over and she couldn't shut her brain off. It simply seemed wrong. How could she enjoy the thought so much but not actually enjoy the act as much as she used to?

She was just so worried. She loved Leonard; really, she did. But she wasn't ready for marriage. If there was anything her family had taught her, it was that marriage wasn't all it was supposed to be. Her sister's marriage was so volatile that violence was involved on a regular basis, up to and including the time that Jenny shot her husband when they were both drunk. Her parents' marriage wasn't abusive, but they had never been truly happy. Even as a child, Penny had known that her mom felt trapped. She clearly didn't want to be a mother, but that ship had sailed. It was a terrible feeling to watch the way that her parents each more or less pretended the other didn't exist.

Both experiences had made it clear to her that fairytale marriages didn't exist. Yes, fairytale weddings did, but that was just one day. Any two people could have a perfect wedding. Marriage could never be perfect. It required a lot of work, so the two people involved had to be willing to put in the effort. This realization and her knowledge of her parents' and sister's marriages had convinced Penny that she wouldn't get married until she was sure that she had found the right man. If she picked the wrong one, she would either end up a divorce statistic or miserable and trapped.

Quite frankly, Penny wasn't sure that Leonard was the right man.

Yes, she loved him, but she didn't know for sure that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She knew that if he proposed at this point, she'd have to turn him down again. She couldn't accept a proposal if she wasn't sure she meant it. And that would spell the end of their relationship. There would be no more chances. However, he didn't seem to share her doubts. So, Penny lived in fear of the day that he decided to press for a greater commitment.

Until either that happened or Penny decided that she was ready to marry him, sex wouldn't put her to sleep. It would leave her awake and needing to somehow rid herself of the excess energy caused by the anxiety.

Unable to stay there any longer, Penny slid out of the bed and quickly dressed in her panties. She was just grabbing for Leonard's shirt, as was her normal practice, when she remembered Sheldon's annoyance with her being pantsless in the apartment. Instead, she snagged her tank top and shorts and pulled them on. She doubted that he'd be awake at this hour since he hadn't dealt with insomnia since his last bout, but just in case he was, it would be easier if she didn't have to listen to his lecture. Once she was dressed, she slipped out of the room and padded quietly to the living room.

When she entered the room, she was surprised to see that the TV was on and Sheldon was sitting in his spot. He was focused on the screen, a mug, probably full of warm milk, clutched in his hands.

"Can't sleep?" she asked quietly.

Circling behind the screen, Penny dropped onto the center cushion of the couch next to him. She bit her lip when she realized that this was her spot every bit as much as the left cushion was Sheldon's. She had never thought about it before. She used to sit in the chair on a regular basis, but at some point, she had slowly stopped sitting anywhere but the center couch cushion. Well, except for those rare times when Sheldon wasn't in the apartment and she stole his spot. She did love the rush she got from sitting in the forbidden location.

"I find myself reluctantly agreeing with your initial hypothesis that my brain will no longer willingly quiet down enough to allow me to sleep," Sheldon finally responded without taking his gaze off the TV screen. "Since your last suggested solution was successful when applied, I have implemented it to help me sleep."

Leaning back against the cushion, Penny focused her own attention on the TV. The commercial that was playing faded out and the show resumed. She instantly recognized it as Scrubs. She bit back a laugh at the fact that when left to his own devices, Sheldon had still settled on the exact show that she had chosen for them during their initial experiment two weeks ago. She was a little surprised that he hadn't picked something that he was more interested in.

"So you're watching Scrubs again?" she questioned, pulling up her right leg and folding it under her.

"That was the main element of the original successful experiment. It would be illogical to change it," he pointed out, sparing a glance for her before turning back to the show.

"Sure, sweetie," she agreed easily, patting his arm.

He quickly pulled the limb away from her and she sighed. He was such a baby about physical contact. She didn't know how Amy dated him without losing her frakkin' mind. Penny knew that she couldn't handle a relationship with the whack-a-doodle. She would miss touching, kissing, and sex way too much. She frowned. Sheldon and sex did not belong in the same thought.

She tried to concentrate on the show, but she had seen the episode that was on at least half a dozen times, so her attention quickly wandered. She, like the rest of the guys, had often wondered what Sheldon's deal was. Hell, to be completely honest, it wasn't even Leonard who had caught her attention when she had first met her neighbors all those years ago. It was the tall, shy guy who had proceeded to tell her about his work when he caught her checking out his whiteboard. She had loved the enthusiasm that he had shown then. His gorgeous blue eyes had sparkled and his tone was excited. He had clearly loved the subject, and she had adored him for it even if she hadn't understood a word he said.

Then they had moved out of the realm of science and all of his crazy had just come spilling out. No longer could she see him as a romantic interest, yet he was still a puzzle that she wanted to solve. The other guys were easy, but Sheldon's quirks sparked Penny's curious side. She wondered what had happened to him in the past to make him so terrified of germs. Why did he shun all romantic contact? Was he straight, gay, or asexual? Why did he have such a strict routine? The question that had always bothered her the most, though, was about his spot. He described his spot as his 0,0,0,0. It was his one point of consistency in an ever-changing world. However, Sheldon's world was so driven by his routine, she didn't understand why he needed a spot like that since his world wasn't really ever-changing.

And that made her think that maybe Sheldon was keeping some of the worst parts of his childhood to himself. The parts that had thrown his world so off-balance that even now, as a man in his thirties, he desperately needed a location that was his and his alone.

Some of her questions had been answered over the years, of course. His relationship with Amy suggested that he was straight even if there still wasn't any kind of physical side to it. He had explained his routine to her repeatedly. It was all about keeping his mind and body in perfect balance so that his work benefited. Whenever his routine was off, his work suffered. She still didn't have the answers to the most important questions, though.

Yes, Sheldon occupied a very special spot in her life. He didn't lust after her, she didn't want to date him, and yet she couldn't imagine her life without him, annoying, crazy habits included. It was just one more reason why her relationship with Leonard had to work this time. She couldn't risk losing her place in Sheldon's social group.

"While I am perfectly capable of tuning out distractions, I must ask that you cease staring at me as I would an equation on my whiteboard. It is extremely annoying."

Sheldon's words and subsequent glare brought Penny out of her thoughts. Feeling slightly embarrassed, she didn't say a word, choosing instead to focus back in on J.D.'s current antics.

"I believe my brain is sufficiently soothed to allow sleep now," Sheldon announced abruptly two episodes later. "Goodnight, Penny."

Coming out of the stupor the show had lulled her into, Penny watched him drop his mug in the sink and hurry down the hall. She heard the click of his door seconds later. Stretching her arms, she stood up and turned the TV off. Hoping that she could also sleep now, she headed to Leonard's room.

It wouldn't be good for him to find out that she never stayed in bed after sex.

ooooo

Penny had just changed into her uniform when the knock sounded at her door Wednesday evening. The noise came only once, instead of the more common trio of knocks followed by her name repeated three times, so she knew that it wasn't Sheldon at her door. Curious, since Amy and Bernadette always called first and neither Raj nor Howard had ever visited her apartment without an invitation, Penny figured that it must be Leonard. When she pulled open the door, she found that she was right.

"Hi, Leonard," she greeted him with a smile.

He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, a sheepish expression on his face.

"Hi, Penny."

Holding back a sigh when she realized that his expression meant that he either had bad news or needed a favor (or, given her usual luck, both), Penny stepped to the side to let him in. After shuffling into the center of the room, he avoided her gaze, choosing to instead take in the mess in her living room. She waited for a moment for him to say whatever it was he needed to. When about a minute passed and he still hadn't spoken or even really looked at her, she covertly checked her watch.

"Sweetie, I have to be at work in twenty minutes. What do you need?" she finally prompted bluntly.

He finally met her eyes. "I thought you had the night off."

She lifted one shoulder as she headed to the bathroom to fix her hair and makeup.

"One of the waitresses called out sick so they asked me to help cover the dinner shift," she explained, stopping in front of the sink and picking up her brush.

"Oh," he murmured, stopping in the doorway to the bathroom behind her.

She met his eyes in the mirror. "So, out with it. What are you here for?"

As she gathered her hair into a ponytail, she watched him run his hand over his neck again before answering.

"I've been working to validate the results of an experiment conducted at MIT a couple of months ago. I've finished the initial prep work, but I've run into a large problem. Leslie Winkle has booked the laser lab every day for the next month."

When he paused, Penny got the feeling that he was waiting for some sort of reaction from her. She didn't really understand his work, but she did understand competition between co-workers. She settled on the same response that she had when one of the other waitresses slept with their boss so that he'd give her the best-tipping shifts.

"That bitch!" she exclaimed.

This was apparently the right reaction because Leonard smiled before continuing.

"Because of that, the laser lab is only available for use at night right now. So..." he trailed off, clearly not wanting to finish the sentence.

"So you'll be working nights until you finish the experiment," Penny finished for him, wrapping an elastic around the base of her ponytail.

He nodded. "I have to cancel our date for tomorrow night and postpone any future ones."

Although Penny was upset, she didn't let it show on her face. She knew that Leonard's work was important (although Sheldon would definitely argue that point), so she couldn't exactly fault him for taking advantage of the lab during the only time he could. So instead of yelling like she wanted, she forced a smile and nodded.

"That's okay, Leonard. I understand," she said, quickly applying her makeup as she spoke.

He smiled at her via the mirror. "Thanks, Penny. I have to go. Sheldon's waiting for his ride to the comic book store."

As he walked away, a thought occurred to Penny and she dropped the lip gloss she was holding. She hurried after Leonard.

"Wait!" she called.

He stopped with his hand on the door knob and turned his head. "What?"

"What about Dr. Whack-a-doodle?" she questioned, gesturing toward her front door.

"Sheldon?" he asked, confusion on his features. "What about him?"

"Well, he depends on you for a lot, you know. Who's going to do all of that stuff for him while you're working nights?" she asked urgently.

She just knew that if Leonard didn't plan for his absence, all of his usual responsibilities would fall on her since she was the friend who lived closest to them. And she did _not _want to have to deal with the bat-shit crazy physicist's demands for the next however many weeks.

Leonard brushed off her concerns. "Raj is driving him to and from work, and I'm sure he can take care of himself otherwise. He's an adult, Penny. He'll just have to deal with a few changes to his routine. It's not like it'll last forever."

Taking the few steps toward her, he leaned forward and kissed her briefly.

"I'll see you as soon as I'm done with my experiment," he stated before leaving.

The sound of the door shutting softly behind him rang through the apartment so loudly that he may as well have slammed it. For a moment, Penny just stood there staring at the place where he had disappeared. She was upset that she wouldn't see him anytime soon, as selfish as she felt for it. Shoving the feeling aside, Penny realized that unlike her, Leonard could one day help change the world with his work. She sighed deeply and headed back to the bathroom to finish getting ready for her shift.

Besides, it wasn't like anything important would happen during the brief time that she wouldn't see him.

ooooo

Penny stepped into the kitchen at work the next night. All of her tables were caught up and she wanted just two seconds to get something to drink and stretch her tired arms. It had been a very long day and she was starting to worry that time had stopped. Sheldon would tell her that was impossible or, at the very least, improbable - she wasn't exactly sure about the probability that time could stop but she was certain that he could tell her.

Clasping her hands, she stretched her arms above her head. She loved this particular stretch. It worked the kinks out of both her arms and her spine.

"Here, Penny."

Lowering her arms, she took the glass of water that one of the busboys was offering her with a friendly smile.

"Thank you, Alex."

He grinned shyly back before leaving the kitchen with his large tub tucked under his arm to clear one of the tables. Shaking her head at his obvious infatuation with her (she hadn't even asked for the water), she sipped the cool, clear liquid. She was just starting to relax so that she could face the last hours of her shift when the cashier poked her head into the kitchen.

"Hey, Penny, you've got a call."

Frowning, Penny finished her water and placed the glass with the rest of the dirty dishes next to the sink. As she left the kitchen, there were several thoughts swirling through her head. The first was that something had happened to Leonard during his experiment. As soon as she dismissed that one, she began to wonder if something had happened to one of her family members. Maybe this was the call that she'd been subconsciously waiting for, the one that informed her that one of her siblings had either died or been arrested (again in her brother's case) due to their dangerous lives and relationships. By the time she picked up the receiver at the front desk, she had worked herself into a nervous wreck.

"Hello."

"Penny?" an all-too-familiar voice responded.

And just like that, her nerves died down.

"Sheldon?" she mimicked, a grin playing at her lips.

"That isn't a proper way to answer the phone," he admonished her in a stern tone.

Tapping her index finger on the desk, she replied, "Hey, I said hello. But have I heard a 'Hi, Penny' yet? I don't think so."

She heard his exasperated sigh and bit her lip. She could just picture the annoyed expression that was probably on his face right now. She had certainly seen it often enough in the past when she corrected his social behavior.

"Fine. Hi, Penny," he finally said, his tone conveying his aggravation clearly.

"So to what do I owe the pleasure of you bothering me while I'm at work?" she asked, her cheery tone at odds with the words.

"You are not where you're supposed to be," he answered in an irritated voice.

Confused, she tried to remember if she had forgotten any plans that she'd had for the night. She had initially had a date planned with Leonard, but he had cancelled yesterday because of work. She hadn't made any other plans, and definitely none with Sheldon.

"Sweetie, I didn't have anywhere that I was supposed to be tonight," she finally responded.

"Yes, you did," he argued. "You work the lunch shift on Thursdays, so, given the cancellation of your date with Leonard, you should be home right now. Yet when I knocked on your door, you were not there."

She rolled her eyes. "That's because I'm here."

"Obviously," he replied in what she considered his 'duh' tone. "However, you should not be there. So why are you there, and why did you not answer your cell phone when I called you?"

Now drumming her fingers on the desk, she answered, "Molly's still out sick, so I agreed to work a double today to cover for her. And I didn't answer my phone because I leave it in my locker at work so that I don't get in trouble." She frowned. "Why were you even looking for me? Isn't tonight your date night with Amy?"

"Ricky the monkey is once again staying with her and currently going through nicotine withdrawal. Amy chose to stay with him tonight to clean the mess that he made of her apartment while she was at work today."

"And you didn't want to help her?" Penny asked.

That question would be sarcastic if she was talking to anyone else, but this was Sheldon. He still occasionally broke into her apartment when she wasn't home to clean simply because the thought of somewhere that he visited regularly being messy bothered him. She thought that Amy's apartment probably fell under that category now.

"No, Penny," he answered seriously. "Do you know how germ-ridden primate feces is? I would be risking my health and well-being if I assisted her, and my work would suffer as a result."

She wrinkled her nose in disgust at the mental picture of Amy's apartment in its current state that popped into her head with his response.

"Oh gross. Yeah, I definitely wouldn't help her either."

"Of course you wouldn't. You don't even clean your own apartment."

She was just getting ready to explain that yes, she did clean her apartment just not to his standards, when the hostess approached.

"Hey, Penny. I hate to interrupt, but tables five and seven are ready for their checks, and I just seated table two," she said.

Penny nodded her understanding before turning her attention back to the phone.

"Listen, Sheldon, I have to get back to work. Good night."

"Wait," he hurried to say before she could hang up.

Trying not to groan her annoyance at the interruption as table five gestured to her, she asked, "What is it, Sheldon?"

"You'll watch Scrubs with me tonight, right?"

"Leonard's at work, so I'm staying in my own apartment," she pointed out.

"But we watch Scrubs at 10 PM every night."

The uncertainty in his voice where she would expect whining and the fact that he considered their recent viewings of the show while they tried to fall asleep each night to be part of his routine warmed her. How could she possibly say no?

"I get off work at ten, but I'll come over as soon as I can," she assured him.

"That's not quite on schedule, but it's acceptable," he agreed before hanging up.

Penny made a face at the phone in response to the fact that she apparently didn't merit a goodbye before dropping it back in the cradle. Fixing her work smile on her face, she headed over to table five.

It was going to be an even longer few hours now that she had plans.

ooooo

Penny was curled up on the center cushion of the couch Sunday night watching the interns deal with their visiting parents when her cell phone vibrated on the coffee table. Ignoring the irritated glare Sheldon sent her direction, she reached out and picked it up, checking the screen. When she saw that it was her nephew, she hopped off the couch. Hurrying into the corner of the kitchen, she faced the counter and answered the phone.

"Hello."

"Aunt Penny?"

She grinned at the familiar sound of Scott's voice. At sixteen, it was mature and deep, but it still had the same underlying sweetness that had always been there.

"Hi, Scott. Do you need something, sweetie?"

There was a long hesitation on his end, but Penny waited patiently for him to answer. She knew that he wasn't used to having someone see his needs and wants as important. Jenny and Johnny were always so wrapped up in their destructive relationship that Scott often got pushed aside. She was sure that was part of the reason why he called her at least once a week if not more, although he usually called earlier than he had tonight.

"Can I come stay with you?" he finally asked in a quiet voice.

Penny's heart rate picked up at the question. She hated to ask, but she knew that she had to.

Glancing over her shoulder to make sure that Sheldon was absorbed in the show, Penny questioned softly, "Have they hit you, Scott?"

"No!" he exclaimed loudly, causing Penny to wince and hold the phone away from her ear for a moment before putting it back in place. "They never touch me. I don't think they even know I'm here most of the time."

"Then why do you want to visit me?" she asked, truly curious. "Wouldn't it be easier to stay with Grandpa Wyatt?"

"No," he said again, although more quietly. "He and Grandma Ellie fight all the time now. The last time I was there, she accidentally hit me with the Precious Moments figurine that she threw at Grandpa. I just want to go some place where there's no hitting, yelling, or name-calling. Please, Aunt Penny? Can I come stay with you for a week or two this summer?"

Bowing her head, Penny ran her fingers through her hair where it had fallen in a curtain around her. The desperation that she could hear in Scott's voice broke her heart. She had adored her nephew since she had first set eyes on him at the age of ten. And she had hated knowing the atmosphere that he was raised in, but she also knew there was nothing that she could do except pay attention to him when he called. She had always wanted to have him visit her, but she couldn't afford a plane ticket for him and she knew that her sister couldn't either. If she would even let him come.

"Scott, I would love to have you here, but I don't have the money for airfare," she admitted, hoping he would trust her.

She knew that her sister thought that she made a lot of money simply because she lived in a large city. Somehow, Penny's geographical location in Pasadena had translated into living a life of extravagance in Jenny's mind. She wasn't shy about asking for money whenever she needed medical care after her latest fight with her husband. It never occurred to her that Penny was only just barely surviving on what she made waitressing and that some months she went without so that she could help her family back home.

"I know, Aunt Penny," he responded. "You're a waitress and, unlike mom, I know that you don't make a whole lot. I got a job at McDonald's when I turned sixteen, though. I had to use most of my money to help pay the bills, but I managed to save a hundred bucks. If you book my flight since I don't have a credit card, I'll give you that when I'm out there and I'll pay you back the rest as soon as I can once I'm back home."

Penny closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. She wanted so badly to give him what he wanted, but she wasn't sure how she would scrape together enough to cover his ticket. Still...

"Alright. I'll figure out something. When do you want to come out?" she finally asked.

"Can I visit for the Fourth of July?" he requested, his tone much happier now that she had agreed.

She winced. That wouldn't give her much time to make the money she needed since it was already the middle of June. In fact, it only gave her two weeks. She couldn't bring herself to disappoint him, though, so she nodded. When she remembered that he was on the phone and couldn't see her nod, she voiced her response.

"I'd love to spend the holiday with you."

After making arrangements to call him back with his flight information as soon as she had it booked, Penny hung up. She felt like she had been punched right in the gut. Her parents were fighting so badly that Scott didn't want to visit them, and she knew that her childhood home had always been his safe haven. Things had clearly gotten bad if Scott was so desperate to escape home that he would use what little money he had saved up to get away. And the fact that most of his money was used on bills, bills that Jenny and Johnny should damn well take care of themselves, made her want to cry. No one should have to deal with what he did on a daily basis. She wished there was something more that she could do for him, but she didn't know what.

It was with a heavy heart that Penny crossed back to the couch. Slumping down on the middle cushion, she stared unseeing at the TV screen, her mind working over ways that she could get enough money for Scott's plane ticket. Her credit cards were all maxed out, so she needed money that she could put toward one of them to clear enough funds for the ticket.

"Who is Scott?"

Sheldon's voice dragged her back into the present, and she answered easily.

"My nephew."

"Who hit him?"

Cursing his Vulcan hearing, Penny scowled at him.

"No one did."

His expression was serious as he contemplated her answer.

"Penny, if you need help..."

"Drop it, Sheldon," she said sternly.

"But..."

She shook her head. "I don't want to discuss it, okay? It's my problem, and I'll figure something out on my own."

"Very well," he conceded, although his expression was troubled.

They turned their attention back to the show, but Penny couldn't get into it. Her thoughts were trapped over 1500 miles away with a family that had crumbled beyond what it had even been when she dreamed of the day that she would escape them. Apparently even that distance hadn't been enough to free her from their dysfunction lately.

As she considered Scott's words and his pleading tone, she could feel the tears welling in her eyes. She didn't want to make Sheldon uncomfortable, so she tried to hold them back. She was mostly successful, but one managed to escape and trail down her cheek. Reaching up, she discreetly wiped it away.

"There, there."

The words were accompanied by two awkward pats to her shoulder that were so light Penny wondered if she imagined them. Glancing at her companion, she saw the slight pink tint to his cheeks and knew that she hadn't made up the pats. For the first time since she got off the phone with Scott, she felt marginally better.

Sheldon had broken his own rule about physical contact to comfort her, so how could she not?

_A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate_


	4. Chapter 3: Penny Time

Spoilers: Anything up to and including the season five finale.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

A/N: Hmm. Not much to say this chapter, just that I would love to receive more reviews (but then doesn't every writer want more?). This chapter's lyrics are from 'With a Little Help from My Friends' by The Beatles. I would like to thank my reviewers: MixItUp, Guest, Jislane, Lucy36, wolfofsheep, Sansa16, Anon13, SweetAle4u, Phosphorescent, maryamT, and Brendie. I love hearing from my readers; it lets me know that my writing is worth my time and effort. Please read and review! Thanks!

Chapter Three: Penny Time

_What do I do when my love is away?  
(Does it worry you to be alone?)  
How do I feel by the end of the day?  
(Are you sad because you're on your own?)_

Smiling at the customers sitting in front of her, Penny balanced her tray on one hand. Using her other, she began to distribute the food to the family of four. Keeping up a conversation with the mother about how adorable her identical twin toddlers were and listening to her discuss how difficult they were to raise, she felt someone walk up next to her. Turning her head slightly since she was rarely interrupted when she was serving a table, she saw that the hostess was standing there.

"Laney?" she questioned curiously, spotting the anxious expression on the other woman's face.

The brunette leaned in and whispered, "Crazy Tuesday burger guy is here and he's asking for you."

"Oh, he's not crazy. His mother had him tested," Penny responded automatically even as her tray tipped precariously in her surprise.

Laney stared at her for a moment before saying, "Okay then. He's sitting at his usual table."

After she walked away, Penny quickly finished distributing the food to the family. Heading back to the kitchen, she deposited her tray. She took a moment to wonder about Laney's announcement.

What on Earth was Sheldon doing here? It was Wednesday; he most definitely shouldn't be here. Burger night was last night, and he and Raj had come in. Penny had served them, of course, but it had been so quiet without Leonard and Howard there. She frowned as a thought occurred to her. Now that Howard was married, would he even continue with the traditional schedule? Would Bernadette be okay with following that or would they stop seeing him as he spent his time with his wife? The thought left Penny feeling surprisingly melancholy. Sure, he was kind of disgusting, but he was still one of her friends. And he had been much better since he fell in love with Bernie.

Shrugging off those thoughts, Penny turned her attention back to the current problem. What was Sheldon doing here on a day other than Tuesday? Honestly, if he kept bothering her at work, she was going to get in trouble. And, unlike Sam, she wasn't willing to sleep with her boss to get out of it.

Pasting on her smile, Penny left the kitchen and approached the table where her whack-a-doodle neighbor was sitting stiffly in his usual chair watching a waiter serve, an expression of distaste on his face. Taking her place at the end of the table, Penny pulled out her order pad.

"Hi, sweetie," she greeted him perkily. "I didn't expect to see you here tonight."

He looked up at her. "Of course you didn't. Tonight is not burger night."

She rolled her eyes. "That was kind of my point. So, what are you doing here?"

"It's..." he began but paused as his gaze flickered over her shoulder. He changed direction in alarm. "Dear Lord, Penny, that waiter has his finger in that woman's soup."

Penny glanced behind her to find that Brent had in fact gripped the bowl in a way that placed his finger in the liquid. Wrinkling her nose at the sight, she turned back to Sheldon who was watching her expectantly.

"What?" she questioned.

"Tell him to stop," he demanded, his voice whiny.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not his boss, Sheldon. Even if I tell him to quit, he won't listen to me."

Penny knew this to be the case because she had already talked to Brent about his tendency to touch his customers' food. She didn't think that she had been rude or pushy when she approached him, but he had gotten defensive, called her a brainless slut who only had her job because their boss thought she was hot, and then walked away. Penny really had no desire to repeat that experience, so she wasn't going to bother him about that particular flaw again.

Sheldon's expression reflected his disappointment. "Well, Penny, if you lack the courage to confront that poor excuse of a waiter, then I shall have to do it myself."

Taken aback, Penny's eyes widened as Sheldon stood up. He really was determined to get her in trouble!

"Oh, Sheldon, I don't really think that's such a good idea," she stated in an attempt to dissuade him.

"Nonsense. I am a customer, so he must listen to me. I am always right."

She had a feeling that he didn't just mean that in the 'the customer is always right' sense. Penny could only watch helplessly as Sheldon approached Brent and began to lecture him on the transfer of germs through food. Wishing her hair was down so that she could hide behind it in embarrassment, she waited for the moment when Brent's gaze settled on her. Everyone knew that Sheldon was her friend so any time he caused problems, the consequences fell on her.

When Brent opted to walk away instead of confronting her, she breathed a sigh of relief. Sure, the look on his face said that she would have to deal with him later, but at least he was being professional enough to keep their issues out of the customers' eyes. She would just do her best to avoid him for a while. When Sheldon retook his seat, Penny leaned down.

"Was that really necessary?" she hissed.

He stared up at her blankly. "Of course it was. He was demonstrating an entirely improper food service technique. Someone had to tell him and save his unfortunate customers. Not everyone can be seated in your section."

Straightening up, Penny blinked down at him for a moment as his words rang in her ears. She was pretty sure that was a compliment, and even if it wasn't, she was definitely going to take it as one. Choosing not to address it, though, for fear that he would ruin the moment, Penny chose instead to go back to her initial question.

"So why are you here on Halo night, Sheldon?"

"It is new comic book night," he pointed out. "I require a ride to the comic book store."

She frowned. "Where's Raj? I thought he would take you."

"He has an ill-advised date with an alleged woman whom he met on the internet," Sheldon explained dismissively. "He was unavailable to take me, so I requested that he drop me off here so that you could take me to the comic book store."

"Why didn't you just take the bus?" she questioned. "Or have him drop you off at the store?"

His expression showed that he was positively scandalized by the suggestion.

"The bus is a hotbed for multiple germs and bacteria!" he exclaimed. "It is a small, enclosed space into which multiple strangers have crowded. I have not built up any sort of immunity to their germs since I never spend time with them as I do you, Leonard, and the others. There is an unreasonably high chance that I would contract some sort of illness which would cause my work to suffer, placing my chances for a Nobel Prize in jeopardy. That would be an unacceptable consequence simply because I rode the bus to the comic book store," he elaborated before adding as an afterthought, "Or home from it after Raj left me there."

Penny rested her hand on her forehead as she shook it. She was definitely developing a pain there and she was pretty sure it had Sheldon written all over it.

"Oh, Penny. You shouldn't touch your face when you're handling food," he admonished.

Lifting her head, she grimaced.

"I'll wash them before I deal with anyone's food," she assured him. "So there's no way you're going to leave me alone tonight, is there?"

"I need you to take me to the comic book store," he reiterated. "Plus, it's Halo night, and since the others have abandoned the schedule, your presence is necessary."

There was a strange note in his voice. Curious, Penny studied him, really studied him. She wasn't thrilled with what she saw. They weren't even a full week into the altered schedule (that would come tomorrow), and he clearly wasn't coping well with the changes. She could tell by the way his left eye was twitching even though he wasn't lying and no one had interrupted him. It was the tinge of desperation in his voice when he talked about her coming to Halo night. Hell, it was the fact that he was even sitting here in the Cheesecake Factory on a Wednesday, begging her to take him to the comic book store in a way that was disguised as ordering her to do just that.

She sighed with understanding. Sheldon was a schedule-driven guy. It was both one of his worst features and one of his best. Worst because it meant that he was extremely inflexible, and best because whenever someone needed him, it was extraordinarily easy to find him. But with Leonard working nights and Howard in space, his routine had fallen apart. Even Raj had bailed on him tonight for the ever-elusive (for him) possibility of sex. Was it really any surprise that Sheldon was trying to recruit her into helping him stay on schedule? She usually joined them for Halo night, although she rarely ever visited the comic book store. She frowned slightly. Halo wouldn't be much fun with just the two of them, though.

"Oh, Sheldon," she sighed, biting her lip slightly as an idea occurred to her. "I think I would get really bored simply watching you respawn over and over again."

She watched with amusement as he stiffened even further in his seat and glared at her.

"I can assure you that you are not that excellent a player," he stated firmly.

Penny laughed at his outrage.

"Just keep telling yourself that, sweetie," she said with a smile. "The point is, Halo is something that we play with the whole group. One on one won't be as much fun as teams."

His face fell slightly, and she hurried to complete her thought.

"Instead of Halo, how about if after the comic book store, we stop by the supermarket? I'll get the ingredients for spaghetti and we can eat that and watch a movie or something tonight."

"Can we have cut up hot dogs in it?" he asked immediately.

She grinned. "Of course. Wouldn't have it any other way."

His face was much happier than she'd seen it since she'd first walked up to his table.

"That is certainly acceptable," he agreed enthusiastically. "I'll pick a movie, and I'll even try to find something that you can both understand and enjoy."

She wanted to roll her eyes at that comment because, honestly, to hear him talk you'd think she was a complete moron. However, the sight of the tiny but genuine smile on his face was too gratifying for her to ruin what was actually a sweet gesture on his part.

"Fine, Sheldon," she said with a nod. "Now, unless you're going to order something, move your ass so that an actual, tipping customer can sit here."

Grumbling about rude waitresses, Sheldon stood up and walked into the waiting area, resettling on one of the benches there. Penny just watched him with an amused grin.

ooooo

_Knock, knock, knock_.

"Penny."

_Knock, knock, knock_.

"Penny."

_Knock, knock, knock_.

"Penny."

The sound of Sheldon's OCD knock and the unique way that he said her name pulled Penny from a wonderful, naughty dream about Christian Bale. She was definitely happy that he had chosen Batman Begins for their movie last night. Watching the really hot Bruce Wayne kick butt was just what she needed after a long day at work. And was any other Batman villain as hot as Cillian Murphy? She was just snuggling back into her pillow, the reason she had woken forgotten in the memories of her dream and a desperate desire to resume it, when the knocks sounded again.

Completely sure that it was way too early for him to be waking her up, Penny squinted over at the alarm clock on her nightstand. When she saw that it was just 7:30, she groaned. Kicking the covers off, she stumbled toward the door, pulling her tank top down to cover her stomach. Upon reaching the front door, she yanked it open and slumped against the door frame, one arm braced against it.

Penny stared blearily up at the whack-a-doodle from her position. He was dressed in his traditional plaid pants and Green Lantern T-shirt with a long-sleeved purple thermal underneath. She mused briefly that he must be really hot when he went outside like that given that it was summer in California. Letting her eyes slide up from the graphic on his shirt, she moved past the strap of his messenger bag that crossed his chest. However, when she reached his neck, her gaze stopped.

Because Dr. Sheldon Cooper had his hands curled protectively around it. If she wasn't so tired and pissed off that he had woke her up so early, she would have laughed at the sight. He had clearly taken her warning about waking her up before eleven seriously.

Meeting his eyes, she saw the cautious expression on his face and the matching wariness in his eyes. Blowing her bangs out of her face, she grimaced.

"What?" she practically growled at him, determined not to let his cute appearance affect her.

Wait. Had she just thought of Sheldon as cute? In disbelief, she rubbed at one eye with the arm that wasn't supporting her on the frame. She must be really tired. Although, she thought with a tilt of her head, he was kind of cute in the way that puppies are cute.

"You shouldn't rub your eye like that. Unless you want an infection," he admonished her sternly.

Her irritation returned swiftly. That was much better and much more normal. She dropped her hand.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper," she hissed his full name so he would know he was in trouble. "It is 7:30 in the morning. Why in the hell did you wake me up?"

He tightened his grip on his neck and leaned back slightly at the venom in her tone.

"I require a ride to work."

Letting her head fall to the side with a thump on the frame, she scowled.

"I thought Raj was supposed to do that."

"He was," Sheldon confirmed. "However, he called me a mere five minutes ago and informed me that he was calling in sick. While I suspect that he is not sick, but instead either successfully completed coitus, which would have required the consumption of alcohol..."

_Initiated maybe, but probably not completed_, Penny thought and then instantly felt horrible for it. She was not nice in the mornings unless she'd had really great sex the previous night. Or was still a little drunk.

"...or, more likely, is currently suffering a hang over after drinking himself into oblivion for his failure to initiate coitus, I do not have sufficient evidence to force him to take me to work. And if he truly is sick, I certainly have no desire to risk catching his illness. Therefore, I need you to give me a ride to work," he concluded.

"I don't suppose I could convince you to take the bus just this once?" she asked even though she knew it was futile.

"I explained my position on buses yesterday. Even with your average mind, you can't possibly have forgotten already."

"You're not helping your case there, sweetie," she pointed out, her tone sweet but her expression decidedly not. "Why should I give you a ride? What do I get out of it?"

His eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," she stressed the words, "that you woke me up really early on my day off, and you're always a pain in the ass when I drive you anywhere. So if I drag myself out of bed to help you, I want something for it."

Penny felt a little cruel for insisting on this, but she thought it would be a good lesson for Sheldon. He always asked for special treatment and insisted that everyone else follow his schedules without giving a thought to how inconvenient it might be to them. Normally, she would just give him the ride, but not today. It was her day off, and she never had Thursdays off. She should have been able to sleep until eleven today and now she couldn't. Because of him.

"You've never asked me for a favor in exchange for a ride before," he said in dismay.

"You're right," she agreed. "I haven't. However, you've also never woken me up this early for a ride before. This time it's more than just a minor inconvenience. You've disrupted my plans to sleep in and once I'm up for as long as it takes to drive you to Caltech and then come back home, I won't be able to get back to sleep." She paused for a moment and tapped her finger against her lips. "It would be like if I woke you up at 2 AM and kept you up and driving around town for an hour. You know damn well that you would complain the entire time and probably demand something in return, if you agreed to come along at all."

He frowned. "But don't you usually work the lunch shift on Thursdays? And why would you need to wake me up to drive you around town? Unless you injured yourself again."

At the mention of her fall in the shower and the automatic reminder of how he had helped her, she winced guiltily. Yes, he had griped the entire time, but he had also set aside all of his plans for the night to take her to the hospital. And he had sung 'Soft Kitty' to her drugged ass even though he clearly hadn't wanted to. The memory made her feel like a bitch for extorting a favor from him when he just needed a ride to work.

"Never mind, Sheldon," she said with a sigh. "Give me thirty seconds to change and I'll drive you."

When she came out of her bedroom a minute later dressed in sweats and a T-shirt, her hair in a messy ponytail, she found Sheldon staring around her chaotic living room in dismay.

"I know, I know," she preempted before he could start in on the state of her apartment. "I've been working a lot lately and I just haven't had the time to clean. C'mon, sweetie, let's go if you're going to get to work on time."

Once they were on their way to Caltech down Euclid Avenue (his protest had been met with a sharp glare from her), she finally started to feel a little more awake.

"Penny," Sheldon said from the passenger seat. "Your check engine light..."

"Is on," she finished for him. "I know, Sheldon. Don't start."

They were silent for a couple of minutes. When she pulled to a stop at a red light, she glanced over at him and saw that his eye was twitching, no doubt because she had cut off both of his complaints. Wanting to distract him before he started up anyway, she asked the first thing to cross her mind.

"So what are you doing tonight, sweetie?"

"As you know, it's pizza night," he stated before frowning slightly. "However, Amy Farrah Fowler asked me if we could have our missed date tonight."

She accelerated when the light turned green. "Where are you guys going?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Penny," he admonished brusquely. "I rejected her proposition. Tonight isn't our date night. It's pizza night."

"Sheldon!" she squealed, reaching over to smack him on the arm and ignoring the way he flinched. "You can't do that! When your girlfriend asks you for a redo of a date she had to cancel, you're supposed to accept. It's the common social convention!"

"But you turn down Leonard's requests for coitus on a regular basis," he mentioned, his voice confused.

"That's different. Coi..." she caught herself. "Sex isn't something that I can just do. I have to be in the mood for it, and that's how most people are. But when your girlfriend wants to spend time with you, then you should agree unless you've already made plans."

"I do..."

"Eating pizza by yourself doesn't count," she interrupted.

She saw him twitch in her peripheral vision before he answered.

"I thought you would come over and eat the pizza with me while we watched The Dark Knight," he explained simply, glancing over at her.

Her stomach squirmed strangely at his words and her hands tightened on the steering wheel as she turned into Caltech's parking lot. She felt more than a little uncomfortable at the idea that he had turned down a date with Amy in order to hang out with her. Then again, maybe she shouldn't be. While with most guys that would be a sign that he was checking out of the relationship, this was Sheldon. She was around most nights since she was dating his roommate and lived right across the hall, so she was probably just more a part of his routine than Amy was. Plus, having a girlfriend was still new to him, so he probably didn't understand how others might see him hanging out alone with her on a night when he had said no to his girlfriend's offer to spend time together. Feeling much more reassured, she pulled to a stop in front of the doors.

Turning to face him, she said, "You should probably tell Amy that you're free tonight, sweetie. I actually have plans to go out dancing with the girls from work."

"Oh."

She could have sworn that she heard a soft note of disappointment in his tone, but if it was there, it was quickly buried in panic.

"You will pick me up from work, though, right?" he asked in alarm, climbing out of the car. "I'm the only one here today, and I refuse to ask any of the unpleasant people with whom I work."

"I'll be waiting here when you get off," she promised him. "Have a good day, sweetie! Change the face of physics as we know it!"

He paused and stuck his head back in for a moment.

"I will certainly put forth my best efforts," he declared.

She smiled at the sincerity in his voice and on his face.

"I know you will," she stated. "I have faith in you."

His blue eyes were shining as he offered her a small smile, a real one, not his kill Batman one. As she looked at it, she thought to herself that he should do that more often. It made him look much more approachable and reminded her of his shy smile the day they had met.

And then he was gone, and Penny started home in a much better mood than when she had woken up.

ooooo

Penny let herself into apartment 4A that night shortly before ten. She was in a really good mood in spite of ending her night so much earlier than usual. Molly, who was all healed up, and Laney had a couple of excellent ideas to help her earn money for Scott's plane ticket. She could work on Laney's as early as tomorrow and Molly's plan would be in place on Saturday. Plus, several guys had bought her drinks. While she had of course turned down all of their invitations to come back to their places because she had Leonard, it made her feel good about herself to know that she still appealed to men outside of Leonard, Raj, the busboy Alex, and the sexual harassers that made work miserable. She had also drank all of the tequila they bought her, so she was feeling pretty happily buzzed. She hadn't had to buy a single drink.

Closing the door behind her, she turned around and found Amy staring up at her from the center cushion of the couch. She buried a frown at the sight. That was _her _spot.

"Bestie!" the brunette cried happily, climbing to her feet. "I wasn't expecting your glorious presence tonight."

Penny started to shake her head but quickly stopped as that made the world spin around her.

"I didn't know that you would be here either. So, Sheldon called you, then?"

Amy nodded, a bright smile on her face.

"He invited me over for pizza and a movie in place of our date night last week. I had to cancel."

"Mm-hmm," Penny hummed absentmindedly, walking slowly to the kitchen. Maybe a glass of water would help with the spinning. "How is Ricky's withdrawal going?"

Amy trailed her to the island, her cheerful expression revealing how happy she was that Penny had asked.

"He's doing much better. He has been 'on the wagon', as the phrase goes, for long enough that his fits of rage that result in feces smeared across my refrigerator are extremely rare now."

Pausing with the newly full water glass to her lips, Penny's nose wrinkled in disgust at the thought.

"That's really gross, Amy. I think I'd get a new apartment if I were you," she suggested.

Amy let out a small, odd-sounding laugh. "That's what Sheldon said too."

"Penny? I thought you were out with your co-workers."

Speaking of the whack-a-doodle. Sipping her water, she turned her head to the hallway from which Sheldon had just emerged. Lowering the glass, she shrugged.

"It's almost ten, right?"

He gave her an approving smile. "It is."

They looked at each other for a few moments before the sound of a throat clearing broke off their eye contact.

"What happens at ten?" Amy piped up curiously.

Sheldon turned his attention to his girlfriend while Penny drained her glass.

"Every night at ten Penny and I watch Scrubs. Since it is my Penny time, I'm afraid that I have to end our date now and ask you to leave."

Penny choked on the last bit of water with his final words. She coughed and sputtered as Amy patted her on the back in an effort to help her breathe. Once she had recovered, she looked over her shoulder at Amy.

"You don't have to go, Amy. You can join us if you want," she offered.

"But Penny..." Sheldon began to whine.

"No, sweetie. She's your girlfriend. You can't kick her out like that unless you kick me out too," she directed him.

Amy seemed uncertain. "I don't want to intrude."

"You're not," Penny reassured her, sending a quick, silencing glare at Sheldon. "I want to hang out with you a bit before I go to bed."

"Then I would love to stay," she said, her tone laced with happiness. "But first I have to urinate."

As soon as Amy was out of the room, Penny shook her head and then steadied herself on the counter when the room began to spin again. Sheldon watched her intently for a moment before shaking his own head.

"You are drunk."

It was a statement of fact, not a question.

"I'm not. I'm just buzzed," Penny corrected him. "I'll be fine with some sleep and water. Maybe a little hungover, but I've dealt with worse in the past."

His expression reflecting just a bit of disappointment, he finally left his place in the mouth of the hallway to round the corner into the kitchen. He opened the cabinet that she knew held their canned vegetables (arranged in alphabetical order by expiration date) and pushed aside something on the bottom shelf, pulling out a small white bottle. Opening it, he poured out some of the contents and put the closed bottle back in place, carefully arranging the cans inside so that they appeared untouched. Then he came to a stop in front of her.

"Take these."

Holding out her hand automatically, she looked at the small, white pills that he dropped there. Glancing back up at him, she raised her eyebrow inquisitively.

"Aspirin?"

"Acetaminophen," he amended. "Take it now and it will help with your potential hangover. You'll want to take more after you wake up, though, if you're in pain."

Penny knew that, but she definitely didn't think he would. He didn't drink, after all, and he rarely associated with the rest of them when they did.

"Why Sheldon Cooper," she teased, a mischievous grin stretching her lips. "How do you know about hangover prevention? Have you been drinking when we're not around?"

His eyes darkened and his brows drew together in a way that made her smile drop. She didn't like the bleak expression on his face; it seemed out of place.

"Hardly," he responded. "It's something I picked up as a child."

As he headed toward the couch, Penny watched him. What on Earth had his childhood been like that _that _was a lesson he had learned? She hadn't figured out the painkiller trick until Kurt taught it to her when she was nineteen. She could tell by his expression that the subject was closed, though, so she didn't ask. Instead, she turned back to the sink to refill her glass.

"I feel much better now," Amy announced, reentering the room.

Penny downed the pills but paused when she started to the couch. Sheldon was in his spot, of course, but Amy was sitting at the other end of the couch instead of next to him as Penny had expected her to. Hesitating, she stared between the two of them. Sheldon was focused on the TV, the remote in his hand, and Amy was staring at Penny in that way that always made her squirm. It was the gaze that made her wonder if Amy was maybe attracted to her.

"You look positively ravishing tonight, bestie," Amy announced, giving Penny a once-over. "Sheldon said that you were with your co-workers. Did you go dancing?"

Penny started to nod but then remembered the effect that had on her balance at the moment and settled for saying, "Yes."

"We'll have to do that again sometime. I do enjoy dancing with you," she declared.

"You cannot enjoy the show from there, so I insist that you sit down, Penny," Sheldon commanded.

She was uncertain where she was supposed to sit, though, so she continued to waver in her position next to the TV.

"Come and sit, bestie," Amy directed, patting the empty cushion between her and Sheldon.

"But I thought that since Sheldon's your boyfriend..." Penny began, trailing off at the annoyed look coming from Sheldon and the way that Amy was shaking her head.

"We all know that the center cushion is yours," Amy stated. "Besides, this way we both get to bask in your golden presence."

Unable to stop the smile from surfacing, Penny stepped forward. With her constant praise, Amy was always really good for her self-esteem. She couldn't help but feel not only beautiful but also smart and worthy after each meeting with the other woman. However, when it came to moving between the couch and the coffee table to get to her spot, she opted to sneak in past Sheldon. He was less likely to try to grope her (as in not likely at all) with the excuse of helping her in. She had learned that lesson the last time she was buzzed and Amy had 'helped' her into her seat.

She was walking as carefully as she could so that she would make minimal physical contact with the physicist, but the room was still spinning. She accidentally stepped on the side of his foot, which threw her off balance. She tried to remain upright, but her stilettos made the effort worthless and she found herself pitching forward.

Directly into Sheldon's lap.

He jumped under her in shock and Penny let out a surprised squeak to find herself in such an awkward position. Quickly pushing her torso up, she scurried over him to her seat since it was the quickest way off of him.

"I'm so sorry, Sheldon," she apologized. "Really. It was an accident. I totally didn't mean to fall on you."

"That _is _the definition of an accident," he pointed out in a peeved voice, smoothing down his newly-wrinkled pants over his thighs. "If you meant to do it, it couldn't be an accident."

Cheeks pink, she settled into her spot, a little startled when he simply turned back to the TV instead of dashing to the shower. That had been way more physical contact than she'd seen him have with anyone else, after all (although she knew that he had cuddled Amy once when she was upset).

Once the theme song started up and Sheldon was completely distracted, Amy leaned over to Penny.

"You were in his lap," she said in awe. "So, tell me, did you feel it?"

"What?" Penny questioned, confused.

"You know," Amy said, eyes wide. "It."

When she gestured to her own lap, it cleared Penny's confusion right up.

"No!" she exclaimed, earning a hiss from Sheldon to be quiet.

Looking disappointed that she couldn't live vicariously through her best friend, Amy focused on the show. Penny also turned her gaze to the TV.

She had lied. She had definitely felt it (her left hand had landed right on it), and she really wished she hadn't. That was just way more information than she'd ever wanted to know about her boyfriend's bat-shit crazy roommate.

ooooo

When Penny woke up the next morning to the sound of her alarm, she immediately turned red as she remembered her drunken tumble into Sheldon's lap. She made herself a promise in that moment.

She was never drinking tequila again.

ooooo

After watching his early morning episode of Dr. Who on Saturday, Sheldon had decided to do some work. His research into monopoles had suffered a small setback, and it was starting to bother him. He didn't want to risk getting stuck.

In spite of his friends' beliefs, Sheldon was well aware that his demands often inconvenienced the people around him. He just usually didn't care. They didn't have an I.Q. of 187. They weren't going to change the world with their research. After all, Leonard was merely repeating others' experiments instead of conducting original research and Howard didn't even possess a doctorate. He considered Raj for a moment. He formed his own theories in his field and was intelligent enough that Sheldon considered him worthy of working with him even if he wasn't the genius that Sheldon was. He could actually see a breakthrough in his field if he stopped focusing on negating the already-proven information about xenons. Either way, Sheldon's demands simply took precedence over his friends' desires since he stood the best chance of winning the Nobel.

But that didn't mean he liked being stuck any more than they liked it.

He was standing in front of his whiteboard contemplating an equation that he'd been having trouble with when a noise in the hallway caught his attention. Listening carefully, he heard a knock on Penny's door and then the sound of voices. Even with his superior hearing, he couldn't make out what was said, just that both voices were female. After a few moments, Penny's door clicked shut, followed by the sound of one set of footsteps heading back toward the stairs.

He frowned slightly and checked his watch. It was only ten but Penny clearly had not punched whoever disturbed her in the throat nor had she left with the other person. Although the entire situation was highly unusual, Sheldon spotted an error in his equation at that moment and all thought was directed toward fixing it.

An hour later, he was drawn out of a particularly well-written paper on monopoles by one of his former colleagues at Heidelberg by the sound of very loud crying. Startled, he lifted his head to stare at the door to his apartment. The noise was coming from Penny's apartment but it didn't sound like her. Highly annoyed at the disruption and, he had to admit reluctantly, slightly worried, he stood up and crossed his apartment and then the hallway outside, coming to a stop in front of his neighbor's door. Raising his hand, he performed his traditional knock.

The door swung open, amplifying the crying, and Penny, appearing extremely harassed, stood in front of him. She glared.

"What do you want, Sheldon? I'm a little busy here."

Worried that Penny would punch him in the throat since she looked upset, Sheldon glanced down at her hands so that he would know if he needed to protect his trachea. His eyes instead caught on what she was holding. Before he could stop them or even choose the proper words, his thought escaped him.

"Dear Lord, Penny, what is that?!"

_No I get by with a little help from my friends  
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends  
Mm going to try with a little help from my friends_


	5. Chapter 4: Plans and Pep Talks

Spoilers: Anything up to and including the season five finale.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

A/N: I have no good excuse for the length of time it's taken me to update. I just wasn't all that inspired and I have a hard time writing when I'm not inspired. Not to mention that whatever I write when I'm not really feeling the plot always sucks horribly. So here's the newest chapter; I hope you guys enjoy it because I'm well aware that it's a little weird. This chapter's lyrics are from 'Firework' by Katy Perry. I would like to thank my reviewers: Jislane, rkday, Lucy36, MixItUp, BreathlessFaith, Kim, ms. rosey cheeks, LANIKI, Phosphorescent, maipigen, Maggie1903 (x2 – one for each review), and Guest. I do love hearing what you guys have to say about my writing. Please read and review! Thanks!

Chapter Four: Plans and Pep Talks

_You don't have to feel like a wasted space  
You're original, cannot be replaced  
If you only knew what the future holds  
After a hurricane comes a rainbow_

"Dear Lord, Penny, what is that?!"

The panic in his voice and the way that he didn't use proper wording for once made Penny snicker.

"Oh, Sheldon. I know that your people skills are only average at best but surely even you can recognize a baby when you see one. And shouldn't you be asking who this is?" she questioned, taking great joy in finally having a chance to pick on him the way he always insulted her intelligence.

Was that immature of her? Of course. Would that stop her, though? Definitely not. While he scowled at her, she smiled innocently up at him.

"Although I am sure you believe that you're being humorous, I can assure you that you are not," he stated. "Who is the infant, and who in their right mind would leave their child with you?"

The smile slipped off Penny's face. Did he really think her completely incapable of taking care of a baby? Maybe she wasn't a mom or anything, but she had babysat a lot during junior high and high school. It was one of the only ways that she could make money before she turned sixteen. Plus, kids liked her and she liked kids, even if she wasn't ready to have one yet.

"Believe it or not, Sheldon, I'm actually a pretty awesome babysitter. I'm really good with both kids and babies," she declared. "And this is Layla." Hefting the baby in her arms and turning her around to face Sheldon, she cradled her against her chest and said, "Layla, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper."

The crying infant let out a particularly loud scream at that point, causing Sheldon to clap his hands over his ears. Penny just sighed.

"Yeah. We all have that response to him at one point or another," she stated, bouncing Layla in an effort to calm her down.

"Make her stop," Sheldon demanded, raising his voice to be heard over the crying.

"I was trying to before you interrupted me!" Penny informed him just as loudly.

Leaving him standing in the doorway, she carried Layla to the pallet of blankets that she had built on the floor and deposited her. Heading back into the kitchen, she resumed making the bottle she had started before Sheldon knocked. She was glad that Molly still had the baby on a diet that was mainly bottles with the occasional solid mixed in. It was a lot less messy than if she had to try to force baby food into the infant. She was scooping formula into the water when her neighbor let out a sound of dismay that she heard even above Layla.

"What, Sheldon?" she asked, swinging around to look at him.

He stared around her apartment in horror, his mouth gaping slightly, before his eyes landed on her.

"You can't have a baby in this apartment, Penny. It's dirty."

Capping the bottle, she shook it to mix the formula in. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's not dirty; I cleaned last night. It's just cluttered. Besides, I moved everything up out of Layla's reach, and it's not like she can even walk," she pointed out. "She's only seven months old. Hell, Molly says she can't even pull herself up yet. So I'm sure she's not about to get into anything on the kitchen counter."

"Even so, it's still inappropriate to keep an infant here without at least attempting to make the place more suitable," he argued and then heaved a loud sigh. "I'll be back with my cleaning supplies."

Rolling her eyes, Penny set the bottle on the coffee table. Leaning down, she picked up Layla and carried her to the couch. After settling the baby in her lap, Penny picked up the bottle and slipped the rubber nipple into her mouth. Layla immediately quieted and reached up, holding onto the bottle as she drank. Penny smiled. She definitely preferred babies when they weren't screaming.

Turning her head, she looked out the two front doors that Sheldon had left open. She could see him moving around his apartment gathering items and mumbling to himself. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that he was griping about how awful her cleaning skills were. Biting her lip, she tried not to smile. As much as he annoyed her at times, she was actually pretty happy that he cleaned for her without her asking. Maybe she was using him in a way, but she refused to feel guilty since she cleaned to her standards. She couldn't help it if he wasn't happy with the state she kept _her _apartment in and felt the need to fix it.

Layla had already finished half the bottle by the time Sheldon shut his door and crossed the hallway to her apartment. Entering, he stared around the room before finally setting the bucket of cleaning supplies on an empty corner of the kitchen counter.

"This is going to be a time-consuming project," he announced, once again surveying the room. "How does one person even produce so much mess?"

Penny offered him a cheeky grin. "What can I say? I guess I'm just special."

His quick glare showed his opinion of that statement. Penny almost laughed. She couldn't help but annoy him; he was just so funny when he was frustrated with her. While he started cleaning up, she finished feeding Layla. As soon as the bottle was empty, she stood up and placed the baby back on the blankets on the floor. When she reached the sink, she nudged Sheldon with her shoulder, causing him to startle and look down at her.

"What?" he asked, irritation in his voice.

"I just thought you might want a little help with the dishes," she offered, holding her hands up in surrender. "But if you'd rather do them on your own..."

His eyebrows shot up. "Why, Penny, that's actually polite of you. I would appreciate the assistance, although I believe that I should do the actual washing. I'm not sure you would get them clean enough."

Glancing over her shoulder, Penny saw that Layla was playing with one of the toys surrounding her. Satisfied that she would be entertained for a while and that she couldn't actually go anywhere anyway, Penny took her place next to Sheldon at the sink as he started running soapy water.

"Why do you have that infant in your apartment today?" Sheldon questioned after several quiet minutes. "That certainly isn't part of your normal Saturday routine."

"I know," Penny acknowledged with a small nod. "I'm babysitting for Molly. She's one of the other waitresses at work and also one of my friends. She has a midday shift today and then she and her boyfriend want to go out tonight, but her regular babysitter is on vacation. I agreed to take Layla for her. I need the extra money, anyway."

"Do you intend to pay your cable bill so that your service will be restored?" he asked with a sidelong glance in her direction.

Penny quietly rinsed the glasses he had placed on her side of the sink. Deep in thought, she adjusted the temperature of the water so that it was warm but not hot enough to scald. How much should she tell Sheldon? She kind of wanted to talk to someone about her family and after the whole hangover prevention thing, she thought he might understand better than any of her other friends. Then again, it was still a very touchy subject and Sheldon wasn't exactly known for his sensitivity. Rather than go into the entire thing, she settled for focusing on her nephew and his upcoming visit.

"No, actually," she finally admitted. "My nephew Scott will be visiting me for the week of the fourth. He can't afford a plane ticket, at least not the whole thing, so I'm trying to earn a little extra money to pay for it."

"Why are you paying?" Sheldon questioned logically, scrubbing a stubborn bit of cheese off a plate. "Why aren't his parents?"

The question strayed closer to the true nature of Scott's visit (escape from his family) than she was comfortable with. Checking that Layla was still in place to buy herself time, she considered her answer, finally settling on a half-truth.

"I'm a little better off than they are."

Even if they were pretty equal money-wise, it wasn't a complete lie. She wasn't in a mutually abusive relationship that would probably end in a murder-suicide. In her mind, that put her worlds ahead of her sister and brother-in-law.

"I can loan you the money," Sheldon offered. "As long as your nephew agrees to follow our usual schedule, doesn't touch any of my things, and stays out of my bedroom."

Penny smirked. "I can't promise any of those things." When his eyes widened in panic, she bit back her laughter before amending, "Well, okay, maybe I can keep him out of your room, but I can't say that he won't touch your things. If I tell him he can't touch any of your stuff, then where do I draw the line? Does that mean he can't sit on the couch? Will he have to bring his own fork if we eat at your place?"

"He can touch anything that you can," Sheldon said primly. He frowned and then added, "However, he can't sit in my spot or touch me. Since you don't seem to have comprehended those rules, I clearly need to clarify them."

Unable to hold it back any longer, Penny bent forward and gripped the sink, her shoulders shaking as her repressed laughter burst out of her.

"I don't see what's so funny," Sheldon stated crossly, just making her giggle harder.

"See, sweetie. This is why I love messing with you. Playing with the Sheldon makes the Penny happy," she declared.

Her cheeks blushed red when a completely different meaning to that sentence popped into her mind, and she silently cursed the way that her thoughts spent way too much time in the gutter. It was definitely a disadvantage of being a big ol' five. Luckily, there was no way that Sheldon would come up with the same innuendo. She quickly rushed the conversation forward before he could notice her odd reaction.

"Seriously, though. I don't know that we'll stick to the usual schedule - this is Scott's first visit to California so I'm sure he'll want to see the sights - but I will keep him out of your room and away from anything of yours that isn't a common use item," she promised, the heat in her cheeks dying down.

"I suppose those are acceptable terms," Sheldon finally agreed, running the washcloth over a fork. "As such, I would be happy to lend you the money that you need."

Penny glanced over her shoulder to see Layla banging a block on the floor. Shaking her head at how easily entertained babies were at that age, she turned her attention back to Sheldon's offer. While it would certainly make everything easier, she knew that there was no way she could take him up on it. The last time she had borrowed money from him, she had felt like every last cent she spent was being judged. Not so much by Sheldon, oddly enough. She had actually felt like it was Leonard putting the pressure on her in addition to herself. She knew there was no way that she wanted to spend the next however many weeks feeling that worried. Plus, she had to admit that there was a certain sense of pride in knowing that she was working hard to achieve her goal.

"That's a kind offer, sweetie, but I can't," she denied with a second shake of her head. "I want to take care of this on my own."

He paused in his washing and looked over at her, drawing her gaze to him in turn. She could see the skeptical lift to his eyebrow, and she was pretty sure she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"How do you expect to earn enough for a plane ticket on such short notice when you can't even pay your cable bill each month?" he asked in an incredulous tone.

She rolled her eyes. Yeah. That was exactly what she had thought.

"I have a plan," she asserted. Ignoring his disbelieving snort, she continued, "I'm making money from watching Layla today, but there's more to it. I'm putting penny blossoms back into production."

Rinsing a glass, she avoided checking for his reaction. He had helped her when she had tried to turn her hobby into a legitimate business last time. It hadn't been pretty, and she knew that he would think it was a bad idea. She just didn't need to see his face and confirm it.

"I know that it's probably a bad idea," she rushed on in hopes of stalling his negative comments, "but I already have an order. Laney - you've met her, she's the hostess at work - well, her family's having their big reunion on the fourth. They always take a family picture. I gave Laney a penny blossom for Christmas last year, and I guess her grandma really liked them. She told Laney to ask me if she could buy one for every girl in their family to wear during their picture. They apparently always do something so that they'll all match."

Eyes shining with excitement, Penny finally stared up at Sheldon although she was careful to avoid actually taking in his expression.

"Sheldon, their family is huge since it's the whole extended thing. That's like fifty blossoms. And she's paying me five dollars for each one. That's..."

"$250," Sheldon finished for her.

"Yeah," she agreed, smiling at the thought of the cash.

Between that, her money for babysitting today, and putting off her cable bill for another month, she'd have enough for Scott's plane ticket. It was just a lucky thing for her that Laney's grandma had already paid upfront for the blossoms thanks to her granddaughter's reassurance that Penny was trustworthy. It also worked out nicely that she had all the extra supplies from her first failed venture into the business stored in her closet so that she didn't have to cut into her desperately-needed earnings.

"So, like I said, I know that I failed really horribly the last time I tried the whole penny blossoms thing, but this is only a one-time venture back into it and I have enough time to finish the order this time," she quickly defended, hoping that he wouldn't be too hard on her idea.

"Penny, Penny, Penny," Sheldon said with a sigh and she felt her heart fall a little at the thought of the oncoming lecture. "You weren't the problem in the penny blossom venture. Your idea was perfectly viable once your production process became more efficient with my expert guidance. The venture only failed once we allowed less intelligent beings to join us."

Penny peered behind her at Layla briefly to hide her confusion. Sheldon wasn't reacting the way she had expected him to. He seemed almost...supportive. But that simply didn't add up given her terrible failure last time.

"What do you mean?" she questioned in as even a voice as she could manage.

"While your knowledge is less than satisfactory in regards to physics, you do have a certain intelligence when it comes to social and female-specific issues. Your idea was a good one as, obviously, was my advice to use an assembly line. The problem was that we allowed Leonard, Howard, and Raj to join in the venture."

Surprised at the clear compliment, Penny glanced up at him. He looked almost aggravated as he spoke.

"I should have known that they couldn't even handle a simple task like setting up the website for your business without failing. If I had simply taken on that portion myself, you would probably still be in business. For that I apologize," he said sincerely, draining the soapy water as Penny rinsed the last dish.

Unsure how to handle Sheldon when he was being so sweet and apologizing without so much as a twitch of his eyebrow, she fidgeted slightly. This wasn't the whack-a-doodle neighbor that she was used to. He was supposed to annoy her until she kicked him out of her apartment. His compliments were supposed to leave her questioning whether he had actually insulted her. By breaking character, he had left her completely confused for totally different reasons. How in the hell was she supposed to deal with a nice Sheldon? Those two words didn't seem like they should even go together!

"Penny!" Sheldon gasped in panic. "The baby's under the coffee table! The baby's under the coffee table! Babies don't belong under the coffee table. I haven't even cleaned under there yet! I can only imagine how filthy it is."

Penny grinned. That was much more normal. Comfortable once again, she patted Sheldon's arm, causing him to flinch away.

"It's okay, sweetie. Apparently Layla can roll. I'll just fish her out and let you clean while we play."

Leaving him sputtering about her incompetence as a babysitter, Penny went to retrieve her charge.

ooooo

Shortly after eight that night, Penny rushed into apartment 4A, her arms full of baby, iPod, and portable speakers. She watched Sheldon jump as the door slammed shut behind her. He was standing in front of his whiteboard with an uncapped marker in hand, so she knew that he had probably been concentrating on his work. She felt a little bad for interrupting him, but she had to show someone and since he was the only person nearby...

"Dear Lord, Penny. What is the emergency?" he asked in an irritated tone as he turned to face her.

Ignoring the question, she sat down on the floor in front of the coffee table where he could see them. She placed Layla on her butt in front of her. She had quickly learned that the baby was capable of sitting unsupported while they were playing. Twisting to the side, she set the iPod and its speakers on the coffee table before looking up at Sheldon. He was staring down at her, his expression a mix of annoyance and restraint. She guessed the second one was his attempt not to kick her out and frankly she was surprised that he was even bothering. Normally, he wasn't shy about telling her to get out when she busted in without permission.

"You have to see this," she said excitedly.

She flipped on her iPod, and LMFAO's 'Sexy and I Know It' blared out of the speakers.

"This is terrible," he complained loudly.

She glared up at him.

"Just shut up and watch Layla, Sheldon," she commanded, turning her attention back to the baby.

Smiling hugely, she watched the infant bounce in time to the music and giggle. She had been playing the song earlier in her apartment while she worked on her penny blossoms while Layla played. When she had noticed the baby's reaction to the music, she had immediately laughed and known she had to show someone.

When the song ended, she clapped for the little girl, who was still giggling, and then looked up at Sheldon. He had stayed silent throughout the whole thing. She was curious to see if the man who seemed to know nothing about human affection was at all swayed by the cuteness of a baby. She was disappointed to find his expression as blank and unimpressed as ever.

"While that was a waste of time," he began, "it was admittedly mildly entertaining. It certainly wasn't worth interrupting my work, but I can see where you would think it was." He checked his watch. "However, I'm not upset because I needed to pause in my work anyway. It is nearly 8:15, so it is time to prepare to do my laundry."

Let down by his unenthusiastic response to something that she found utterly adorable, Penny climbed to her feet and gathered up Layla and her iPod.

"We'll just get out of your hair then," she announced, starting toward the apartment door.

"Yes. I will meet you in five minutes," he stated.

"Wait. What?" she asked, confused.

Sheldon paused at the entry of the hallway and turned around.

"It's laundry night. We always do our laundry together at 8:15 on Saturday unless you are out. As you are not, in fact, absent from the building, I expect to see you for our scheduled shared chore," he explained as if she were all of five years old.

"But I have Layla tonight," Penny protested. "I have to watch her."

"I trust you are clever enough to find a way to do both," he said imperiously before disappearing down the hallway.

Sighing, Penny headed to her apartment. Once inside, she dropped the iPod and speakers on her kitchen counter. Crossing to the chair in the living room, she picked up the carrier sitting there. When Molly had dropped off Layla, she had left the carrier in case Penny had something that she needed to do. It was one that would hold Layla against her chest and by using it she would be able to do her laundry and ward off Sheldon's whining.

The problem, she quickly discovered as she surveyed it, was that she wasn't sure she could put it on by herself. As much as she didn't want to ask, she would need Sheldon's help to secure it properly so that she wouldn't risk dropping Layla. Groaning, she crossed back to apartment 4A.

"Where is your laundry?" Sheldon questioned.

Penny rolled her eyes as she straightened from placing Layla on the floor.

"I'm getting to it. I need your help putting on the carrier. I can't reach far enough behind me to cross the straps like Molly told me to," she explained.

Sheldon took the carrier from her and studied it for a moment. After seconds of careful consideration, he slid his arms through the straps.

"Sheldon?"

Penny was positively bewildered by this turn of events.

"Help me secure this properly," he instructed her.

"What are you doing?" she asked instead.

"I am putting on this device in order to carry the infant around."

"But...why?"

She knew that she had to sound stupid to him, but she couldn't help it. She was completely baffled by his actions.

"We both have to carry our baskets, and one of us has to carry the baby. I am much taller than you, however, so I can carry both much easier than you could. If you tried, your basket would rest against Layla. This is the only logical solution."

His tone was back to that I-can't-believe-I-have-to-explain-this one that he used frequently when talking to, well, _everyone_. Realizing just how pointless it would be to try to argue against him, Penny instead stepped behind him so that she could cross the straps over his back and then fasten them to the front loops. Once that was done, she picked up Layla and handed her to Sheldon. He had a distasteful expression on his face when he took her and he held her like she was a live grenade, but he did quickly settle her into place.

"Get your laundry," he directed as he adjusted the settings of the straps to provide the best support for the baby.

Eying him nervously because she was pretty sure that Dr. Cooper had little to no experience with kids, she sped out of his apartment and through the process of collecting her dirty clothes and soap. She made it back to him in record time.

"Let's go," she offered.

He focused on his watch.

"Not yet."

"But we're ready now," she pointed out.

"It's only 8:14. We have to wait until 8:15."

Gritting her teeth, Penny tapped her foot impatiently. It seemed silly to wait just because it wasn't the exact right minute. After what felt like an eternity of nothingness, he finally squatted down to pick up his basket and led the way down to the laundry room.

Once they had their washers started, Penny offered to take Layla. To her great surprise, Sheldon denied her.

"This is a public room. The surfaces here are hardly sanitary enough for a baby."

Okay, so maybe she shouldn't be surprised.

"Anyway, this is good practice for if we should ever have children."

Penny, who had been sitting on the closed washer kicking her legs so that her feet bounced off the machine, froze. Rubbing her fingers over her ear, she just knew that she had to have heard him wrong.

"I'm sorry. I think I just heard something crazy. What?"

"I said that carrying Layla is good practice for if we ever have children."

And there it was again!

"Okay," she said, forcing herself to remain calm. "What the hell, Sheldon?!"

So much for calm.

Looking positively scandalized, he placed his hands over Layla's ears.

"Really, Penny. I must ask that you watch your language. The speech center of Layla's brain is currently developing and I doubt that your friend would appreciate it if her first word was a four-letter one," he scolded.

Penny rolled her eyes but said, "Fine. What the _beep _are you talking about? Why on Earth would we ever have kids? I thought Amy was the perfect choice for you!"

Dropping his hands, Sheldon nodded.

"In our current world, where success is dependent on academics and intelligence, she is the ideal choice to help produce my progeny, at least until someone perfects the cloning process."

Penny couldn't help but laugh at that. _Of course _Sheldon would see his own clones as the best choice to carry on his legacy.

"However, I have several contingency plans in place for events like the zombie apocalypse that wipe out large portions of humanity, leaving behind an extremely dangerous world where mankind must essentially start over. In each of those plans, you are the best choice as the mother of my children," he explained.

He was talking as if that wasn't the most batshit crazy thing to ever come out of his mouth. And given that this was Sheldon, that was really saying something.

"But _why?_" she asked, emphasizing the word in the hopes of getting an actual explanation that made sense.

"In a world where humanity is endangered, the people with the best chance of survival will be those who possess both intelligence and strength. I possess the first quality in such excess that it's almost unfair to the lesser beings around me, but I must admit that I lack the physical strength that your Neanderthal ex-boyfriends all seemed to possess. When you broke Howard's nose..."

Penny grinned at the memory. She had felt so good when she had punched him; it had released a year of frustration with his behavior. It really showed how much he had changed thanks to Bernadette that Penny actually missed him now that he had been gone for so long.

"...I realized that you are in fact a corn-fed Nebraskan who possesses the physical abilities that I lack. Our children would be intelligent, strong, and beautiful."

"I get the first two, but what does beauty have to do with anything?"

She was just going to ignore that whole part about her being corn-fed because that really sounded like an insult. Still, she had to admit that she was highly curious about his logic.

"Beauty has very little to do with personal survival," he conceded easily. "But it would help the survival of our genetics. Human nature dictates that those with attractive appearances will draw attention from the opposite sex. One need only examine the parade of men in your life to see the truth of that statement. Our children's beauty would help ensure that the more important traits of intelligence and strength would continue to exist in the new world."

"First off, there was not a 'parade of men'. Geez, you make it sound like I'm a whore or something. I mean, yeah, I like sex, but I do have some standards. Secondly, you know you're crazy right?" She held up a hand to forestall his protest. "This whole thing is crazy from the fact that you have plans for a zombie apocalypse to the fact that you've actually considered why our children would have the best chance of survival in a world like that."

They were both quiet for a moment. Sheldon was standing beside the table that they always used to fold their laundry, looking strange with a baby strapped to his chest. His face was twitching slightly, no doubt because of her words. He never did like when anyone called him out on his crazy.

Tilting her head back, Penny studied the ceiling. As her eyes traced over the pattern of water spots left from when one of the first floor apartments had flooded, she tried to absorb his words. Sure it was just a hypothetical situation, but Sheldon never considered even those if he didn't see them as possible. While the thought of having kids with him was just plain weird, she had to admit that she was a little flattered at the idea that he saw her as the ideal mother to his kids in such a dire situation. Plus, she had to agree that he was right. With his intelligence and her strength, their kids would be a force to reckon with.

Still a weird idea though.

"What if I don't survive the zombie apocalypse?" she asked, dropping her head back down to meet his eyes.

"You will," he said simply.

The fact that he would have such complete confidence in her abilities made her feel strangely warm. He didn't even seem to question that she might not survive an apocalyptic situation. The warmth working its way through her chest was strange and uncomfortable so she opted to distract herself.

"Aren't you afraid that I'll hurt our kids or something? You sure freaked out over the idea that I was babysitting this morning," she pointed out.

He waved a dismissive hand.

"I would be present to instruct you on proper child development, and I know that you would never hurt a child on purpose. I must admit that you seem better with Layla than I would have expected," he admitted in a reluctant tone. "Today has only confirmed that you would be the ideal mother to my progeny in a dire situation."

She wasn't sure what to think about his confession, so she expressed the one thought that had stuck with her since he had started explaining his apocalypse plan.

"You really are crazy," she declared, a grin tugging at her lips.

"I am not. My mother had me tested," he answered predictably.

"Maybe she should have gotten a second opinion," she pointed out causing him to let out an indignant gasp. She shook her head. "And maybe I should get tested too because this whole thing actually makes sense to me."

"Of course it does. My logic is impeccable," he stated smugly.

The machine below her came to a jarring stop. Penny jumped down to put her clothes in the dryer.

That was definitely the oddest conversation she had ever had, and she was a little glad that it was over. Now if she could just get the idea of little blue-eyed blondes that spouted physics out of her mind.

ooooo

"How long have I been working nights?"

The sound of Leonard's voice caught Penny's attention. Looking up from the white penny blossom she was working on, she saw him standing in the entry of the hallway taking in the sight before him. The confused expression on his face was so funny that Penny had to stifle a snicker.

She could definitely understand why he was baffled. Once their laundry was done, Penny and Sheldon had come back to the guys' apartment. Penny had settled on the couch to work on her penny blossom order while Sheldon went back to his work on his whiteboard. The sight wouldn't be odd at all if weren't for the fact that Sheldon still had Layla strapped to his chest.

The baby had fallen asleep while they were downstairs. When they'd finished, Penny had offered to take Layla back to her apartment, but he had refused. He was afraid that she would wake up if they moved her and then they'd have a crying baby on their hands. Since neither of them wanted to deal with the ear-splitting shrieks of that morning again, they had agreed to just leave her where she was. It wasn't like Sheldon couldn't work easily with her there anyway.

So, yeah, she could definitely see why Leonard was confused. She still had a hard time believing that Dr. Whack-a-doodle wasn't freaking out about the baby herself.

"Hi, sweetie," Penny offered her boyfriend with a smile.

She hadn't seen him since the day he told her he would be working nights and that had been a week and a half ago. Funny, but it didn't feel that long. In fact, she hadn't really missed him that much. Between her worry about Scott's plane ticket and keeping Sheldon entertained, she hadn't even thought about Leonard as often as she would have expected. She hadn't even considered that he might be in his room sleeping today. Looking at him now, she felt kind of guilty about that.

He crossed the room to drop a kiss on her lips.

"Hi, Penny," he greeted her, a grin of his own in place. It quickly turned into a frown as he faced his roommate again. "Why is Sheldon carrying a baby?"

The man in question had turned back to his whiteboard, apparently oblivious to their conversation although Penny knew better. He had his Vulcan hearing, so she was sure that he was listening to every word they said even if he wasn't particularly interested in the conversation.

"That's Layla. I've been babysitting her today. She fell asleep while we were doing our laundry and we didn't want to wake her up, so we didn't move her," she explained, leaning forward to grab a red gem.

"But why did he have her to start with?"

Penny shrugged as she arranged the gem on the flower.

"I was going to wear the carrier, but then he attacked with Sheldon logic and well..." She gestured at the man who had let out a soft, gaspy laugh at her words even though he hadn't turned around. "...you can see the result."

"My logic_ is_the only correct logic," he admonished Penny, finally looking over his shoulder and acknowledging the conversation behind him.

His voice was stern but the small smile on his face showed that he was amused by her description of the event. She couldn't help but grin back.

"Sure, sweetie. Whatever you say."

Shaking his head, he went back to his work. Penny watched him for a moment, grin firmly in place, before reaching for her hot glue gun. She had gotten to know Sheldon a bit better while Leonard was on nights, so she was finally starting to figure out his sense of humor. It was something that everyone thought he didn't possess, but she was learning that he was actually pretty funny. It was just so subtle that she had never noticed it before, instead focusing on his annoying tendencies. Plus, his wit always got drowned out by the others when they were around since they were much more obvious in their humor. In fact, given the support he had given her on the penny blossoms thing today, she was also starting to wonder if she hadn't underestimated his character when it came to his belief in others' abilities. Feeling surprisingly lighthearted, she glued the gem into place, not noticing the confused slide of Leonard's eyes from her to Sheldon and back again.

"You're making penny blossoms again?"

There was a strange note in Leonard's voice that immediately set Penny on edge.

"Yes. I received a rather large order," she responded.

She already knew what was going to come next, so she wasn't at all surprised by his following words. Disappointed but not surprised.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asked, worry in his voice. "The last time you tried selling those, you failed terribly."

Even though she had known he would say that, it didn't stop the ache in her heart. She had hoped her own boyfriend would have more faith in her than Sheldon, who had absolutely no reason to believe in her, did.

"I know," she agreed quietly, looking up at him. "But this is just a onetime order and the money was too good to pass up."

He frowned but nodded. "I guess I understand. I just don't want you getting your hopes up and failing again, Penny. I don't want you to get hurt." He leaned down to kiss her on the top of the head. "Well, I'm off to work. I should only have to do this for another week or so and then things will get back to normal. Goodnight, Penny. Sheldon."

As the door clicked behind him, Penny placed the final touches of gold glitter and set the finished flower aside. Her earlier happiness gone, she sighed softly before picking up a plain yellow flower. Lifting the artificial bloom to her nose even though she knew there was no scent, she blinked back sudden tears. If he didn't want her hurt, then why did he insist on hurting her?

"Would you like a hot beverage?"

Sheldon's question drew her from her thoughts. He was standing in front of the coffee table and staring down at her with concern on his face. Determined not to cry in front of him although she feared he had already seen the tears, she took a deep breath and shook her head.

"No, but thank you for the offer, sweetie." She set the flower down and stood up. "I should probably take Layla and head back to my apartment. I'm not sure when Molly will be by to pick her up and it's getting late."

The next few minutes were silent as he carefully handed the baby over. Layla stirred briefly at the movement but quickly fell back asleep once she was settled into Penny's arms. After Sheldon draped the carrier over her shoulder, Penny crossed the hall to her own apartment. She would collect her penny blossom supplies tomorrow.

Once inside, she placed Layla down on the blanket pallet on the floor and hurried into her room to change into her pajamas. As soon as she was comfortable in her shorts and tank top, she returned to the living room and sat down on the couch. She really wished that her cable wasn't disconnected. Her conversation with Leonard had left her heavy-hearted and she could use the distraction. Instead, she leaned her head back on the couch and closed her eyes, leaving her ears tuned for any noise from her charge.

Half an hour later, Layla was gone and Penny was $72 richer, having been paid $6 for each of the twelve hours that she had the baby. Exhausted from the long day, she considered going to bed but she wasn't sure that she could sleep. Leonard's words weighed on her, and, despite having spent several hours with him today, she missed her Scrubs time with Sheldon.

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Penny."

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Penny."

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Penny."

Surprised to hear the familiar pounding on her door given the late hour, Penny answered, worried that something was wrong.

"What is it, Sheldon?"

He was standing in front of her door in his robe and slippers, clearly ready for bed. He looked a little unsure of himself and Penny found the vulnerability absolutely adorable.

"I can't sleep," he blurted out. "Will you watch Scrubs with me?"

"Sure, sweetie."

Brushing aside the odd sense of relief that flowed over her at his request, Penny padded barefoot across the hall to his apartment. They took their normal spots on the couch and he turned the DVD (he had finally just purchased the entire series) to the next episode in their lineup. As the opening song ended, he reached down and picked up the finished white penny blossom and the yellow one that she hadn't yet started.

"You took this and you made it into this."

He held up the yellow flower and then the white for her to see. Confused, she nodded.

"I did."

"You created something that others buy," he said.

Again she nodded. She was uncertain about where he was going with this.

"Well, yeah. Penny blossoms were an idea that I came up with for myself. Other people just happened to like them. I was lucky that way. But Leonard's right: taking any jobs beyond this one would probably result in failure and..." she paused, unsure if she wanted to explain. But this was Sheldon and she'd been honest with him so far today, so she continued, "I don't think I can handle adding yet another disappointment to a list that's already pretty frakkin' long."

"Penny," he said and his voice was so serious that she listened closely. "You can't listen to Leonard. He doesn't know anything about creating. He just copies previous experiments so even if they fail, it's not his work that suffers. But you and I create new things, and while your penny blossoms are nowhere near as important as my work, they are _yours_. Others like and want them, and since that's the entire point of a sell-able product that makes them a success. You should take pride in that."

Apparently finished, Sheldon handed her the blossoms and turned back to the TV. Staring down at the finished white blossom, she contemplated his little speech. Although he had predictably managed to sandwich an insult in there, she had the feeling that he was actively trying to comfort her. The fact that he would even make the effort was so amazing that she would have felt better even if the entire thing came off as an insult. Once again blinking back tears (happy ones this time), she smiled softly and tucked the white blossom behind her ear.

She was going to keep it as a reminder of his words.

ooooo

Her phone's ringtone woke Penny the next morning. Groaning, she reached blindly for it, knocking several things, including her alarm clock, off the nightstand.

"Hello?" she asked blearily.

"Hello, Penny."

The familiar Texan twang on the other end of the line surprised Penny and she cracked an eyelid open.

"Mrs. Cooper?"

"Just Mary, please," the older woman corrected. "I apologize if I woke you up, but I wanted to talk to you."

Fully awake and a little worried about Sheldon (because why else would his mom call her?), Penny opened her other eye and sat up.

"Is something wrong? Sheldon was okay when I left him last night."

"Oh, Shelly's fine. How are you?"

Her tone was full of concern and Penny didn't have a clue why.

Confused, she answered, "I'm okay."

"So Shelly was able to help you then?" she asked.

"What?"

How did Mary Cooper know that she was upset last night? Had Sheldon called her? That didn't seem like the sort of thing he would do, but how else could his mom know?

"That boy of mine called in the middle of the night last night all worried about you. He said that roommate of his made you cry and he offered you a hot beverage. He didn't understand why you turned it down. So he called and asked me what he should do to make you feel better," Mary explained in a slightly amused voice.

"Oh."

That was all Penny could get out because she was officially speechless. That wasn't something that she expected. The unfamiliar warmth that Sheldon was causing on a more and more regular basis flooded through her. She just couldn't believe that he had been worried enough to wake his mom up.

"Well, he did make me feel better," she admitted finally.

"Can I ask what he said?" Mary questioned curiously.

One corner of Penny's mouth quirked up as his words came back to her.

"He told me that I should be proud of my work even if it's not as important as his," she summarized.

She wanted to keep the specifics to herself. She knew Sheldon well enough to know that a pep talk from him was a very rare event, so she kind of liked that last night's was hers and hers alone. Out in Texas, Mary Cooper burst into laughter.

"That does sound like something my Shelly would say," she agreed in an amused voice before turning serious. "Penny, when God blessed my son, He gave him an extra helping of brains but forgot social skills. I never thought I'd see the day where he worried enough about someone else's happiness to call me for help."

She was quiet for a moment and Penny took the time to absorb her words. She still couldn't get over the fact that Sheldon had called his mom for help making her feel better.

"I don't know what your relationship with my son is since I know he's still involved with that Amy girl. Whatever it is, though, you're clearly one of his most important people if he's willing to ask for help to make you happy. So I'm gonna ask you to stick by him no matter what happens between you and Leonard. I know he can be difficult, but you've clearly shown him patience and kindness to earn your place in his life. The two of you have come a long way from the first time we talked."

Penny winced when she remembered her first conversation with Mary. It was right after Sheldon had catapulted her panties onto the electrical lines outside of his apartment. Penny had been crying when she called Mary and she was pretty sure that she had called the whack-a-doodle a bunch of horrible names, but she was so angry at the time that she still couldn't remember for sure. Either way, it hadn't been a pretty way to introduce herself since she was an adult taking the grade school tactic of tattling on him to his mom. Luckily Mary had been willing to get to know her after that and now Penny called her on the rare occasion when she was having a hard time dealing with Sheldon. His mom was full of good ideas for handling him at his worst.

"I don't plan on going anywhere," Penny reassured the other woman.

"That's real good to hear," Mary said, the twang in her voice happy. "Do me a favor: don't tell Shelly I called. That would only embarrass him and undo any progress he's made."

Penny laughed. "Don't worry. There's no way I'd want to have that conversation with him; I'd be the one to suffer his wrath."

Mary let out a chuckle of her own.

"You're probably right about that. Well, goodbye Penny. Have a good day."

"You too."

Once the call was disconnected, Penny dropped the phone on her nightstand and sank back down into her bed. She couldn't really explain it, but she felt like something in her friendship with Sheldon was shifting.

And that scared her.

_Baby, you're a firework  
Come on, let your colors burst  
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"  
You're gonna leave 'em all in "awe, awe, awe"_


End file.
